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It's Not Easy Being Green

What could possibly snap me out of my blog-coma? Well, a couple of things. Maybe three, actually. Three things.

First of all, garrulous former Prime Minister Paul Keating has descended from the sky like the archangel Gabriel (yet again) to pass hilariously combative judgement on a current active politician who he doesn't approve of.

"It was bad enough having the real John Howard ... at least Howard was a militant, aggressive conservative driving in reverse through the rear-vision mirror."

Now normally even a Keating fanboy like myself can admit that such rants aren't, umm, all that balanced, but I mean fuck it - he's talking about Tony Abbott, who can argue?

Moving on, it's St. Paddy's day tomorrow. And if you're any type of Mick in Melbourne, chances are you've spent some time at the Paddy in the Park shindig at The Dan O'Connell pub in Carlton. But if you don't get down there tomorrow, you might never spend another St. Patrick's day on the hallowed lawn again.

From The Age:

CARLTON'S Dan O'Connell Hotel will celebrate St Patrick's Day for the last time on March 17 because of liquor licensing restrictions.

The venue has celebrated the day for 100 years, with up to 5000 patrons drinking green beer and listening to local folk, Celtic and rock musicians on an outdoor stage in the adjoining park.

But owners say that new liquor licensing restrictions will force it to close at 10pm, making it financially unviable.

''The festival has enjoyed the overwhelming support of local residents, Melbourne City Council and Victoria Police,'' said manager Toby Kingsley.

This shit is pretty bogus, so please take a moment to join The Dan's facebook group and help them stand up against the rising tide of reactionary bullshit that has already claimed The Tote (how's that going by the way, have young yobs stopped glassing each other yet?).

While I was trying to find some kind of amusing image to accompany this Emerald-tinged post (in part to distract you from the relatively poor quality of the same), I found myself googling 'leprechaun,' which threw up the following hilarious suggested searches:

Leprechaun trap

Leprechaun in Alabama

Leprechaun in the 'hood

And just in case you've tried everything to trap the little bastards, maybe try using oatmeal cans.

It kinda feels like the Dublin Aunts should do something annual on St. Patrick's Day. Maybe next year we can work something out.

Anyway, everybody wear something green and get outrageously drunk manyana. Slainte!

Scotland The Brave, or The Wife Beater?

I'm trying to snap this lazy streak of non-blogging, and my latest ploy is to just throw together a bunch of random stuff that's on my mind in one sort of indecipherable amorphous blob. Hence the sweet picture of Larry Bird and Dr. J choking each other out. Enjoy it. It won't be referred to or contextualized.

Apparently the wee laddies in Glasgow are not ones for gender equality.

The 11 and 12-year-olds were questioned in depth about their attitudes and aspirations towards gender roles and behaviour.

They were asked to consider whether or not a man was justified in punching his partner when he found out she had had an affair.

Nearly all of the children thought that the woman deserved to be hit.

The majority of the pupils said it was justified if the woman had an affair, or if she was late in making the tea.

Come on. Glasgow? What did they expect? Don't get me wrong, I'll always have a soft spot for Glasgow (it's where my grandpappy on dad's side hails from), but that's like doing a 'How d'ya feel about those Israelis then?' vox pop in Hamas headquarters. What could have been potentially much more expositional would have been doing a similar experiment on kids here in supposedly-enlightened Melbourne. I'm guessing the results would have been much subtler (not hard) but skewed the same way.

On a related note, Robbie Keane has landed at Glasgow Celtic FC and he just looks right in the green and white hoops.

He hasn't set the world on fire so far, but he's linking up nicely with attacking midfielder/winger Aiden McGeady. I just had to include this image (lifted from the front page of ESPN Soccernet last week) coz it captures the tone of Celtic fans everywhere. Loitering outside the pub. Waiting for stuff to happen. Reacting in an extreme fashion, no matter what that 'stuff' turns out to be.

Finally for today, I've rediscovered one of my favourite bands from the 90s, Living Colour. Cool site, check 'em out. Love Rears It's Ugly Head, etc.

Longley Uses eBay for Non-selfish Purposes That Aid Science, Apparently Doesn't Get It

Here's a random basketball-related fact:

Former Aussie NBA teammate of Michael Jordan, and 3 time NBA "World" Champion, Luc Longley vied for and won the naming rights to a recently discovered species of shrimp.

Longley, who had participated in marine conservation efforts before, named the shrimp Lebbeus clarehanna after his 15-year-old daughter, Clare Hanna Longley.

Wow, what a guy. I'm not sure that's quite as good as his rollicking mane of auburn locks in the picture, though.

Serpico on Serpico, Pacino Dancing, and Gay Clubs

Speaking of New York City...

Check out this story about a little Mick point guard who plays for St. Patrick's (the best High School team in the USA), and finds time to work the standup comic circuit while he juggles practice, basketball road trips, and a steady stream of accusations of nepotism (his dad's the coach).

North Carolina’s Dexter Strickland, then paired in the backcourt with Boyle, listened to his teammate’s quick quips at Mario’s Pizzeria around the corner from the school, and said, “I’d pay money just to hear you talk.”

The appearances started in April at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, N.J. All of 18, Boyle, known for calling one teammate Unibrow and giving out the assistant coach Ray Miller’s cellphone number as his own, talked about “keeping it real” with a girl and getting tipsy at a bar while on a team trip to South Carolina.

“I don’t want to sound like a clown, but it doesn’t take much to make a bunch of drunk Rutgers kids laugh,” Boyle said.

The next step was Caroline’s on Broadway.

He's probably not very funny, but still. It's kinda cool.

HBO Is About To Stay Winning

Finally, Something Worth Blogging About

Only 2 Years Until The World Ends (Mayans, motherf*&kers - Mayans!)

Ok, rubes. I'm back.

Here's a list of things I should've blogged about since my last post almost a month ago (in no particular order):

Copenhagen.

I have absolutely nothing insightful to share, but I could've easily paraphrased The Kid, or G, or any one of the dozen or so people I know who actually have a clue, and passed the ideas off as my own without most of you finding out. Except for the fact that both The Kid and G read this blog. But then hilarity could've ensued in the comments.

Whiskey.

More specifically, the sheer quantity of it that I consumed during December generally and on Christmas Day specifically. Not as some sort of late 20's crisis boast, but rather as a heads-up excuse for the vacant look in my eyes and the reddened cheeks on my face next time you see me. In my defense, I went without a drop of cerveza from November 28 until Christmas Eve, so I feel that the spike in whiskey consumption was somewhat mitigated. I mean, c'mon, no one ever stops drinking completely. Do they?

The New York Knicks.

This is a fairly recent eventuation, but those fuckers actually beat early season Eastern Conference front-runners the Atlanta Hawks IN Atlanta.

In other events, The Old Firm Derby is on tonight and if Rangers win then the title is likely to stay in the blue, God-Save-The-Queen (in other words, the crap) part of Glasgow.

It's 2010 in my heart, my mind, and my pants.

Bang.

Rum, Brandy, Sodomy, the Lash, and a Few Good Goals

Attack of The Unreleased Demos Part Deux: Interlude (Prod. by Styalz Fuego)

This track is actually one of a 3 part interlude series that I cut with Styalz Fuego a little while back for a solo project. The plan was to sprinkle them throughout the other tracks to maintain a constant theme.

I'll post the other two, umm, I dunno, when I post 'em.

http://hotfile.com/dl/20606522/6f4ab58/digga-interlude-numeroduce.mp3.html

I should probably add it to imeem etc. but I just can't be bothered.

I'm not really this lazy or apathetic when it comes to my music, I'm just holding out until I can give you some new stuff. Which, one way or another, will happen in the new year.

How Commodities Prices Directly Impacted My Weekend

Ah Bubs. Everybody's favourite junkie. Affable, charismatic, and well-informed.

Much like the junkies who ripped out my copper gas pipe and a sizable chunk of my gas meter on the weekend. Well, they have the well-informed part in common, anyway.

After the crippling rage simmered down (I briefly considered finding local scrap metal joints and offering them $200 for any info they could give me), I had to chuckle at the notion of a couple of scraggly smack head life partners reading the Financial Review over a lunch at the soup kitchen.

"Ay baaaaaabe, says 'ere copper's garn thru the roof!"

"Yeah I know. Jeez, I tell ya - commodities prices these days."

Seriously though, I hope those f*&king deadbeats die.

Innovation From A to Z

I came across this cool artist site a few weeks ago via a 'Web Entrepreneurs' newsletter that I help put the advertising together for.

Northern Irish rock band, Ash have sold 8 million albums worldwide. Now they've thrown the traditional music distribution model out the window with their clever A-Z series of singles.

Available primarily as a digital subscription -- with the opportunity to purchase limited edition vinyl -- subscribers receive a new song every two weeks for a full year. As the promotion began October 12, those that sign up now will receive all the releases to date, then the new ones as they are launched.

Ash front man, Tim Wheeler, recently stated, "The way people listen to music has changed; with the advent of the download the emphasis has reverted to single tracks."

Not a bad idea, that.

Boronia Brilliance

Black Bones from Rhett Dashwood on Vimeo.

This is some good work from my Bosnia buddy Rhett Dashwood. If you didn't catch it earlier this year, check out his acclaimed Google Maps Typography, or just cruise over to his site and check out the other stuff this brilliant crazy bastard is up to.

An Inconvenient Shuduppa You Face

Here's what I don't get about the climate change "debate."

There are politicians who think it's a myth. Whatever. Fair enough. I guess.

However, these politicians are so stubbornly stuck on the idea that it's a myth, that they refuse to engage with any policy (or policy-making) that places primacy on solving any related environmental issues right now. So you get your "I'm not ripping off the tax payers' in order to pay for some pie in the sky scheme that aims at solving a problem that doesn't exist" line.

Ok.

But carbon emissions are bad, right? That's not up for debate, is it? You see where I'm going with this....

Maybe you think climate change is a crock of $hit. But you know that many interrelated environmental issues are not.

If these politicians don't want to back an emissions trading scheme at the expense of, well, expenses, but they admit that carbon emissions (and a bunch of other eco stuff we can work on) are bad for the environment, then they're either too stupid or too dangerous to be trusted. It it's bad, and you can affect a positive change, then do so. If you know it's bad, and you don't want to affect a change (regardless of the paternalistic reasoning behind it) you're a bit of a prick.

I don't have anything specifically against people sticking their heads in the sand. But it seems to me that if you genuinely think climate change is a myth then you shouldn't believe in the hole in the o zone layer, rising sea levels, or any other proven environmental truth bombs (water is wet, etc.) either.

Having said all that (did I say all that?), I fully admit to being a complete f*&king hypocrite because I do very little to curb my own lifestyle in aid of creating a more ecologically sustainable society.

So blah.

I'm sorry for being grumpy, I procrastinated over buying a sweet 1981 Retro Celtic FC track jacket and it's now out of stock and never to be re-manufactured.

I may denounce all of the above listed, half-baked opinions as early as this time tomorrow.

Another One Bites The Dust

A little while back I remember reading about a guy who came to Australia from Scotland when he was 11 years old. Obviously, migrating at that age, his whole world and everything he knew or held dear was in Australia. But he was a bad boy, and he'd been in and out of prison for most of his adult life. So at some point someone somewhere rubber-stamped the notion of kicking him out of Australia (he never got naturalized) the very next time he got out of jail.

So that's what they did.

He was sent "home" on October 20, leaving behind a teenage son and his extended family. Two days later he was found lying dead on a footpath. British police are asking why, and the Australian Government is denying any responsibility.

Apparently this isn't an isolated incident. Word is, the Australian Government sends almost 100 "almost Australian" people packing per year.

Of course, no story like this would be complete without the unsolicited opinion of some reactionary crank. In this case, it was that clean living pillar of the Australian broadcasting community, Derryn Hinch.

Is this K Rudd's Australia? Or The Coconut's?

It's getting harder to differentiate.

A Timely Christmas Reminder of Bloody Religious Wars

Albums I'm Gonna Recommend You Checkout, Even Though I Haven't Even Heard Them

I've heard enough good things about the new Clipse record Til The Casket Drops, and the new Snoop album Malice In Wonderland to do the old Molly Meldrum, "Do yourself a favour."

Even though I haven't heard a single track off either LP.

I was a pretty big fan of Hell Hath No Fury, and I've always dug The Clipse's "we don't care about much" style, so I think it's a safe bet.

And as for Snoop, have you ever seen/heard Sexual Eruption? Alright then. Nuff said.

I can't be bothered checking out Before I Self Destruct. I might, at some point. But I probably won't blog about it unless I get it on vinyl, play it backwards, and become the first person on the planet to realise that 50 Cent is subliminally preaching Scientology.

A Crap Weekend In Sports

Arsenal lose to Sunderland in the EPL, and Celtic lose to Dundee United in Scotland.

Ridiculous.

At least things are working out a little nicer in the NBA. The Atlanta Hawks, who have to be one of the definitive 'neutral's favourite' teams (when have you ever heard anyone say a bad word about them?) are soaring (yep, I just did that) atop the league - along with the equally impressive Orlando Magic, that is.

Vince Carter is doing some great work at Orlando. It's kind of a perfect fit for him, coz he's always been that dude with all the technical and physical gifts in the world who's lazy disposition can make him a little frustrating to watch. In the twilight of his career, and with other big guns around him (Howard, Lewis etc.), the pressure's off. Anyone who saw the way he closed out the win against Boston the other day would have to agree that he could be the X factor they need to get over, say, a Cleveland in the play-offs.

But enough of this positive $hit, let's get back to the crap stuff.

It doesn't get much worse than Kevin Garnett hitting a buzzer beater in Madison Square Garden.

The "Holy F*&k, It's Almost X Mas" Edition

So..... been pretty quiet lately.

November's been a monster of a month on a number of fronts, most of which have signified overindulgence in various guises, shortly accompanied by hangovers. So a bunch of $hit has necessarily fallen by the wayside, and blogging, Twitter-vigilance ('twigilance' would be a bit gay, right?) and general plugged-in-to-web-happenings have all been casualties.

Amidst all this tech-slacking, I've discovered a sneaking (and growing) suspicion that I'm generally happier, more content, and more relaxed when I'm not engaged in the abject voyeurism of Twitter, Facebook etc. This is, of course, tempered by the awkward pull of "I'm missing out on something when I'm not plugged in." Are either of those impulses legitimate?

Whatever.

One thing I know for sure is, I've been writing a lot more music in the downtime.

I guess one good reason to get back in the mix is that it's almost Christmas and I haven't gotten my $hit together re: gifts. Usually, I've at least bid on a bunch of stuff on eBay by now. So I guess I better hop to it.