New York Knicks Look Back Nostalgically

As a long suffering Knicks fan, I'm used to seeing my fair share of bullshit. I put up with their 'let's fill the roster with 4 guys who play shooting guard and pay one of them an astronomical salary completely out of sync with what he's acheived and his ability as a basketballer' crap, I didn't walk away when they brought in Stephon 'Give Me The Ball, Suck my C*ck, then get the f*ck out of the way and don't talk to me in the dressing room afterward' Marbury. I even kept the faith when Isiah Thomas decided to get all Clarence Thomas on the female staff over there at Madison Square Garden.

But now The Knicks are really pushing it. First they waste their number 6 pick in the NBA draft on this guy and today I read that they've signed the son of Knicks legend, former perennial All-Star and future Hall-of-Famer Patrick Ewing. Never mind the fact that Junior averaged an immasculating 6 points and 2 rebounds in College, The Knicks know what they're doing.

"Ewing isn't expected to be the impact player his father was, but he gives the Knicks a valuable public relations boost coming off last season's 23-59 record, matching the franchise record for losses. New York has posted seven straight losing seasons overall."

Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It

Ice Ice Baby

Check out these amazing pics of ice sculpting. This is the kind of thing you don't give a shit about until you're in your late twenties, and by then you're too jaded and cynical to have a crack at doing it yourself.

Where do you even go to learn shit like that? Kinda feels like a career path that's only open to people who live in Scandinavia.

EPL Wrap INCLUDING Arsenal!!!

Hopefully The Biz will get his shit together next week, but I wouldn't bet on it. Here's the rub in his absence....

The Gunners cruised to a 3-0 win over Newcastle (they need to get Mark Viduka's big Aussie ass out there).

Bolton 0-0 West Bromwich Albion. How can I express how little I give a shit?

Portsmouth put 3 past Everton, looks like Pompey are finding their feet in the new season after a lacklustre performance in the first 2 rounds.

Wigan smashed poor old Hull 5-0, although it's way too early to tell this isn't a great sign for Hull's prospects of staying up in the Premier League next season.

Middlesborough 2-1 Stoke. I haven't seen too much of Stoke but they seem to be doing ok. I'm tipping they'lll find a way to stay up.

Chelsea draw with Tottenham, showing the first signs of mortality this season. I didn't see much from the Spurs, at least they've gotten rid of Berbatov and can now move on to another season of baseless high hopes and hilariously bad results.

Roy Keane's Sunderland got pumped by Manchester City, 3-0. Man City will do well but not well enough, even with outstanding new signing Robhino.

Aston Villa 0-0 Liverpool. Great result for all sorts of reasons, not least of which is that the on-again-off-again transfer of Villa's Barry to Anfield fizzled out and left a bad taste in EVERYBODY'S mouth. Liverpool are the most overrated team ever. EVER.

Man of The Hour

Progressive Trend in Transaction-Based Manual Stimulation ?

There was no suitable picture I could add to this post, so you'll have to use your imagination when you read this.

Western culture is just great, isn't it?

Perhaps we shouldn't be applauding the fact that women are now joining the hordes of men who feel so alienated by the numbing, disconnected maze of isolation that they bypass human connection and go straight for the money shot. Or maybe we should. I don't give a shit.

As the article itself suggests, it's all a matter of perspective. It's a fine line between bitching to your friends over a glass of Pinot about that sleazy remedial massage therapist with the wandering hands, and slipping some cut masseuse called Eufemio 50 Euros at the Hotel in Pamplona on your Iberian holiday just because you're momentarily overcome by an 'empowering' cocktail of sangria and imodium.

The Biz is slacking, Robinho's nuts

So it looks like I'll be doing the EPL wrap this week (which means the mighty Gunners will get a look in again), The Biz is in training for The Stool Gift, which you'll learn more about in the coming weeks.

It's starting to look like you'll be hearing more about Arsenal than I had planned, seeing as I'm doing the first couple of EPL wraps myself, but we'll see if The Biz gets on his grind at some point. I'll post the wrap later, this is just a quick WTF post about Brazilian wonder kid Robinho signing for MANCHESTER FUCKING CITY!

After all the hype about him going to Chelsea, Man City snuck in literally minutes before the transfer window closed. Given the comments of Real Madrid's head honcho, it seems that this deal was more about pissing off Chelsea than doing right by the player.

Whatever, it's all pretty funny. This supremely gifted little Samba king commanded 32.5 million POUND STERLING. Now watch him bust as he struggles to integrate his insanely exquisite finesse game into the million-miles-an-hour rough and tumble of the Premier League.

Try busting out your Joga Bonito on a cold, rainy January day at Ewood Park when Aussie Vincenzo Grella is having at your shins and all you really want to do is party with those twins from Maracaibo that you picked up at Mardi Gras.