Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Pimp-Ho' Stature/Master-Slave Factor

In a what-the-f&*k throwback to the "good old days" in Hollywood (when Joseph P. Kennedy was getting hookers bumped off, and studio moguls were contractually permitted to regulate their stars' bowel movements), studios such as Dream Works and Disney are shutting down twitter for the help.

Influential trade publication The Hollywood Reporter revealed that new talent contracts from Disney forbid confidentiality breaches via "interactive media such as Facebook, Twitter or any other interactive social network or personal blog".

How could this possibly be practically enforced? I would love to see a test case go to court.

As the article suggests, the studios are always happy to exploit new technology in order to maximize revenue, but they have no problem curtailing freedom of speech by banning the use of the same technology by 'the workers.'

I mean, don't get me wrong, I think most celebrities on Twitter are boring and prolific to the point of indulgent self-absorption. But who the hell are you, me, or whoever the latest incarnation of Jack Warner is, to deny them that right? You know, the right to have people follow them, expect to be entertained, and then not un-follow them even when they turn out to be $hit.

That's a fundamental right.

Rascal McDuck?

True to the title of his hit record "Bonkers," Dizzee Rascal decided to rock the kilt for his recent show in Edinburgh.

The question is, did he rock it true Scotsman style? I'm sure some of the chicks in the front row found out, one way or another.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Can Green Make Roy Jones Jnr. Lean Back?

I've been a part-time boxing fan ever since my Whack Job basketball coach made my entire team knuckle up at a boxing club after Sunday training when I was 17 (he had some issues).

I drift in and out though. So it's a little shameful, but not too surprising, that I wasn't aware Danny Green is about to fight Top 3 G.O.A.T. Roy Jones Jnr.

And I couldn't post about that, without posting one of the bazillion highlights from Jones' career.

I like Danny Green, and I hoped he'd punish Anthony "I try to talk as much as Ali did but nothing remotely as charismatic or witty comes out" Mundine each time they tangled, but I think he may be in a bit of trouble here. Having said that, Roy Jones is definitely past his peak, so who knows?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

David's Still Twisting Goliath's Nuts a Little Bit

I thought that the weekend's English Premier League results thus far deserved a post, especially given I'm a Gunners fan.

Liverpool losing to Sunderland? The only way that could possibly be better is if the mad mick Roy Keane was still in charge there. Injuries to Torres and Gerrard are mitigating for the Reds, but still, come on. Sunderland? Sorry Memph, that's just $hite.

Chelsea losing to Aston Villa might be a poisoned chalice, depending on whether or not you're a 'glass half full' or 'glass half empty' kinda person. I'll explain....

Based on the results of recent seasons, chances are Arsenal will be vying for 3rd or 4th place in the EPL again this time round. For the unenlightened, that's nothing to sniff at as it enables them to play in the UEFA Champs League (probably the best football currently being played on the planet). Aston Villa are vying for the same spots, so seeing them win is always a little unsettling.

However, if you were really in a 'swinging for the fences' kinda mood, you would say that league leaders Chelsea dropping points is a good thing as it evens the field at this early stage of the season.

Either way, the season just got a little more interesting...

'Ere, Didn't You Kill My Brova?

I was originally looking for the classic 'Who was that fat bastard?' skits from legendary British comedian Alexei Sayle's show, Alexei Sayle's Stuff. But I couldn't find them. And I thought this would substitute just fine.

From time to time, I really need to revisit some of the classic Brit humour I was raised on, and it gets no better than The Young Ones. So many talented cats participated in one way or another, it's easy to overlook some of the geniuses. And Alexei Sayle was definitely one of 'em.

Unreleased Scenes From The Wire

My man Khoi is back in MEL after a long stretch doing community-building type stuff up in PNG, and as if that isn't enough for me to hate him for being better than me, he put me onto a whole bunch of exclusive $hit from The Wire (which by now you're probably sick of me and everybody else telling you is the greatest television of all time).

It was really tough to pick which clip to go with (young Omar, the origin of Prop Joe's nickname etc.) but I just can't go past McNulty.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Tommy More, Freedom-of-Speech Good Guy

In a way, I'm only posting about enlightened 16th Century statesman (and lawyer/writer/humanist/scholar - phew, the Toffs really took advantage of their, erm, well, advantage, back in those days) Thomas More as a sort of mental note of public record to track down and buy his book Utopia.

He was a true pioneer of freedom of speech, even standing up to Henry VIII (who was patently not a pioneer of freedom of speech) over the matter. A man of principle, he refused to attend the coronation of Anne Boleyn, and refused to take an oath which incorporated anti-papal rhetoric (quite the staunch Catholic, was old Tommy Boy).

I mean, he was hung for all of this. But they made him a saint. That was later on though. A long, long time after his neck had snapped and his bowels and bladder emptied down his dangling legs (you know, from the loss of bodily control).

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Stories Prompted By Random Photos

This is a picture of my friend Che.

We were all partying well 'ard the night this flick was taken, but that's not what this post is about.

About 5 or 6 years ago, Che, Weez (another friend who will surely make an appearance in my new 'Stories Prompted By Random Photos' section at some stage) and I were drinking at a bar in outer eastern MEL near where we all grew up. It was pretty early in the day, the bar was quiet, and from memory we were the only patrons in there.

The publican knicked out the back for a second and next thing you know - ZHOOM! A junkie shot into the bar out of nowhere like the Gott Damm Glimmer Man and racked a bottle of Drambuie from behind the bar. Now, "if I can slander my own environment" (to quote Jack Nicholson) we grew up in the kind of area where you get used to this type of behaviour, and the bar was certainly in a location where you would expect 'the junkie crowd' to be milling around somewhere nearby. So the three of us weren't particularly phased, and only reluctantly got involved when the barman came sprinting out after the thief.

The junkie was genuinely surprised, and slightly put-out, when he realised he was being pursued. So he broke into a wonky canter. As he neared the exit, which we three were sat beside, the barman's shouts for help, coupled with his forlorn 'I am man, we are human' expression, dragged Che into action. He got up just as the junkie crossed the threshold and for the briefest instant tasted freedom. He took one big step as the junkie momentarily disappeared outside the front door, one step closer to sharing the swag with his smackie mates. Then, Che stuck one mighty hand out the door, around the corner, and dragged the poor wretch back in to the bar by the collar.

Queue expletives and resignation from the junkie, and over-the-top gratitude from the barman.

I think, in the end, he gave us one free pot each. And that was it.

OMGIGP, Or The Best Thing Dean Cain Has Ever Done

I'm pretty late with this, but not being as conversant with web geekdom as I should be, I only just heard about it today while I was drinking a rum hot chocolate (at Enoteca, if you're Collingwood/Fitzroy or Richmond, you need to check that out).

On the subject of Dean Cain, we were discussing what an 'it' girl Teri Hatcher was back in the day (don't try to front like you don't know what I'm talking about).

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Me Want Food

Go on, give it a go if you're so freakin' smart. See if you're an Eco Kid.

Reason #1 Why TWNR

I know, I know. Celebrities talking about politics. Some of you hate it. Most of the time, I hate it. But if you've ever heard the track Poison (off Stillmatic, 2001) or Sly Fox (off Untitled, 2008), then you'd have to admit that Nas has earned the right to talk just a little bit of $hit.

It must be noted, however, that Fox's response was pretty f*&king excellent:

"Fox News believes in all protesters exercising their right to free speech, including Nas who has an album to promote."

I'm not sure where Nas is gonna take things musically in this next phase (the reputed collab album with the young Marley dude might be cool if it actually happens), but regardless he's an absolute inspiration and probably the greatest of all time.

So There's This New Thing Called The Hip Hop

Got this pic from my pal Raena a while back, just been too busy to blog much lately.

I love the early spin on Hip Hop in the copy:

"It's the music and dancing that started on sidewalks all around big cities."

Like dudes were just hanging out on stoops and by the curb and then spontaneously burst into song like some Gott Damm broadway musical.