Sunday, November 30, 2008

It's Easy When You Live With Them

Here's an interesting little piece on why it's so difficult to spot the alleged 3-4% of the population who are sociopaths.

Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless. You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodedness. The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience that they seldom even guess at your condition.

Say what you want about Sociopaths, but life would be a lot more boring without them. No mob movies. No tough guys pushing around ticket inspectors on public transport. No Mark Latham.

Not to mention The Biz and The Kid.

Ethical Killing Machines

Finally. Some progress on the 'robot army hordes' front.

"The New York Times reports on research to develop autonomous battlefield robots that would 'behave more ethically in the battlefield than humans.' The researchers claim that these real-life terminators 'can be designed without an instinct for self-preservation and, as a result, no tendency to lash out in fear. They can be built without anger or recklessness ... and they can be made invulnerable to ... "scenario fulfillment," which causes people to absorb new information more easily if it agrees with their pre-existing ideas.' Based on a recent report stating that 'fewer than half of soldiers and marines serving in Iraq said that noncombatants should be treated with dignity and respect, and 17 percent said all civilians should be treated as insurgents,' this might not be all that dumb an idea."

Haven't there been soldiers without an instinct for self-preservation kicking around for, I dunno, forever? But it would be nice to have soldiers who don't rape civillians for a change.

Gimme a Smoke Or I'll Stab Ya

Growing up on the mean streets of Boronia, I learned that any type of verbal communication at the train station was tantamount to an open declaration of war. So if you're smoking a cigarette at Boronia train station, and someone asks you for a cigarette, you better give them one.

Police allege the Boronia man was threatened when he refused to give the group a cigarette and chased him when he tried to flee.

He was punched in the face by the man and stabbed in the stomach by one of the women, a police spokeswoman said.

The man was taken to hospital with non life-threatening injuries.

It's like this every day in Boronia.

I'm a Thief

I just got back from the grocery store, for the second time today. You know how that makes me feel? Happy, surprisingly. Normally, I can hardly handle one trip a week, but today something cool happened.

I went to the store near my place first, doing my 'weekly grocery shop.' Then my girl called to say she was bunkered down studying and could I pick her up some stuff. In my mind I thought, "someone is peeing on my ear lobe," but because I am THE fucking boyfriend, I sucked it up and made the second trip for her.

I got the shit, paid, and left without too much fan fare. Wasn't till I got back to my girl's place I realised I'd taken someone else's bags as well as mine. Hello free punnets of strawberries, and a shit load of nectarines.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pause To Appreciate Dennis Rodman

Dennis Rodman is the shining light on this list of Hot Headed athletes.

Honourable mentions to Latrell Sprewell (who has said that if his teammates didn't pull him off of his coach, he would've strangled him to death), and Pacman Jones (just look at the picture of him, it speaks for itself).

This Is Just Nuts

I was put onto this by a friend, it's a testicle cook book. You never know when you're going to need to know how to make testicle pizza.

No Kool Keith?

I guess they didn't know if they should call him Dr. Octagon or one of his other names. That's the only reason I can think of that he didn't make this list of most bizarre MCs.

They are truly a bunch of whack jobs, but come on man. Keith is out there.

I Can't Wait To See This On My Way To The Celtic Club

If you live in Melbourne, you need to check out La Trobe Street. Apparently there's a giant billboard of a woman in a full body bunny outfit, putting a different spin on the Playboy thing.

The artist's name is Polly Borland, but it's really all about the guy who commissioned it (if this description is anything to go by):

DAVID Walsh, private collector, professional gambler and agent provocateur, has unveiled his latest artistic offering to Melbourne at the Republic Tower on La Trobe Street.

If The Biz becomes a private collector, he will be on the verge of being this guy.

Donnie Dumbo

The Knicks are getting absolutely reamed by the Cavs at half time 38-67. In New York. In Madison Square Garden. Spike Lee must be having a coronary.

I am so fucking mad at Donnie Walsh right now. I have been looking into prices for getting a 'Bring Back Randolph & Crawford' T Shirt. I'm not lying.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I (Still) Wanna Be Like Mike

A timely reminder of why MJ was, is, and always will be, the motherfuckin' man. Kobe's amazingly skilled but looks like he's forcing it/trying too hard. LeBron is an awesome physical specimen with unparalleled athletic ability, but he doesn't have the focus or subtletly. Let's just call it now and say there'll never be a greater player, huh?

I'd Still Be Carried In a Chariot By Stampeding Horses

They've dug up an ancient chariot in Bulgaria. It's from the Second Century AD.

The bronze-plated wooden chariot is decorated with scenes from Thracian mythology, including figures of a jumping panther and the carving of a mythological animal with the body of a panther and the tail of a dolphin, Ignatov said.

Apparently the biggest challenge is stopping locals from looting the dig site.

Fucking Bulgarians.

The Famine: Officially Forgotten?

In the Republic of Ireland they have banned begging.

The really Irish part? Offenders can face fines of up to 700 Euros.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern said today the Government had approved the proposal, which would result in the first reform in begging laws since the Famine.

I'm really disappointed with this. The Irish have a history of sticking up for the down and out and empathising with the disenfranchised and persecuted (no doubt as a direct result of the centuries-long strangle hold England had on Ireland, as best personified by The Famine).

And 'professional beggars?' Please - if you're that dedicated to the streets then go ahead and make whatever you can. I ain't mad.

This Guy Is Certifiably Insane

But the world would be a better place if there were more people like him. He's written extensively, and explicitly, on the subject of The Camorra (the historic organised crime organisation based in Napoli), and he knows that in so doing he has signed his own death certificate.

Roberto Saviano's book Gomorrah, a biblical wordplay on the hell the Camorra visits on the Campania region, has been made into a widely acclaimed film.

It might have made business more difficult for the Camorra, but there could also be another reason why the bosses hate it so much they have vowed to kill Saviano "by Christmas".

Saviano has aimed at debunking the 'glamour' myth that shadowy organisations like the Camorra use as PR to recruit new members from the Godfather generation.

He says he is resigned to the fact that the Camorra will 'take it's revenge.'

Kind of makes you wonder if you've got the gumption, eh?

What The Drilly With That Though, It Ain't Banging

If you don't know what the post title means then you've never heard Quiet Storm. And I hate you. But really, if you like Rap music then you'll appreciate my revisiting this classic that could quite possibly be the last categorically sick shit that Mobb Deep did before Jay Z started immasculating them. Me and The Biz were discussing how spazzy this shit is the other night.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Paddy Tanniger The Caddy Manager

Yeah, I posted a Family Guy sound byte. Big whoop, you wanna fight about it?

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

If you've seen The Sopranos, or A Bronx Tale, you might recognise this fucking idiot who decided to go from a Reel Tough Guy to a Real Tough Guy.

He is alleged to have been involved in a robbery in search of prescription drugs, in which his alleged accomplice, Steven Armento, shot the officer.

The off-duty cop died, so it's a murder rap.

As fucked up as this is, he's definitely not the first cat to let it get to his head. Tupac, anyone?

Read This Blog (Just Slightly Less Frequently Than You Read Mine)

The blog is called worldlustitude and it is a series of delightfully absurd made-up words that should exist but don't. Or haven't, until now.

Excellent, excellent work.

Thanks to The Kid for referring.

Why Do They Call This Animal a Urine Monkey?

Pretty soon, astronauts are gonna be drinking their own piss.

Among the ship's cargo is a water regeneration system that distills, filters, ionizes, and oxidizes wastewater — including urine — into fresh water for drinking or, as one astronaut puts it, 'will make yesterday's coffee into today's coffee.'

That. Is. Brilliant.

That astronaut's talent is wasted.

Please Sir, Can I Have Some Wrongful Imprisonment?

This ain't America is it? George Dubya's 'Good Time Boys' government has admitted they've been locking up kiddies at Guantanamo.

"The U.S. has revised its count of juveniles ever held at Guantanamo Bay to 12, up from the eight it reported in May to the United Nations, a Pentagon spokesman said Sunday."

Things have gotten nice and Dickensian under that idiot-fuck Bush, except instead of Oliver saying, "Please sir, can I have s'more?" it's little Abdullah saying, "Please, Infidel, can you remove the electrodes from my gonads?"

Most Overused Samples in Hip Hop History

I'm generally not one of those cats who tries to stay right up to the latest with my posts, I just write about whatever's running through my sick and twisted head at the time, but I'm gonna have to apologise in advance for being late with most of these posts.

I found this list of the most overused samples in Rap last week.

Tough to argue with their choice for the top spot. I mean, who hasn't jacked the Impeach The President drums at some point?

I'm Back. Again.

So another week without my laptop (those crackheads who broke into my girl's place last year are really impacting my day to day), and I feel a little sheepish about posting again.

I mean, Arsenal lost to Manchester City and are having their worst season in 15 years, Donnie Walsh has decided that he doesn't care about The Knicks' hot start to the season (trading their best 2 players Zach Randolph and Jamal Crawford to maybe be able to get LeBron next year), and I ate so much animal flesh at an Argentine restaurant on Friday night that it's gastrointestinal gridlock for the foreseeable future.

At least Glasgow Celtic FC got in done against St. Mirren (take that, Biz).

And in other good news, I'm thinking about changing my rap name to Stacks McHale. But only if I become extremely wealthy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Andrew Nougat? Nugget? Bogard? Nogutt?

I was looking for footage of KG mushin' Andrew Bogut in the face the other night, but I couldn't find it. So I posted the infamous "Nobody liked Bogut, even on his own team, so he deals with it in the most passive aggressive manner possible" high-fives to himself move.

But the KG shit is pretty funny.

The NBA announced on Monday that the All-Star forward will be suspended for one game for hitting Milwaukee Bucks center Andrew Bogut in the face on Saturday."

Fat Kids Can't Hunt

Believe it or not, that was the title of a proposed reality TV show in Britain a while back. The pitch? A bunch of, umm, fat kids would be sent to a deserted island and those who were too fat or lazy to catch their own food would be sent home. Dunno what the winner was gonna get, but it never got made. Unfortunately.

Anyway, the Nanny State is gonna ban sweeties in schools.

Education Minister Bronwyn Pike said yesterday: "With alarming statistics showing almost one-quarter of children aged two to 16 years are overweight or obese, it is vital that we work together to reinforce the healthy living message."

When I was in school, only the rich over-fed kids had the cash to buy candy and risk obesity, but we had a great nutritional index to balance everything out - bullies. The bullies would shake down the rich nancies about half the time, so this maintained the natural order of things and stopped Little Lord Fauntleroy from turning into a fat bastard. The only problem was, not infrequently the bullies themselves were kinda fat. Still, maybe instead of less sugar we need more Nelson Muntz. I'll mention it to Mrs. Bronwyn Pike next time I see her.....

And Now, Resuming Normal Programming

I saw this movie when it premiered at the Film Festival earlier this year, and it's sick. Literally.

"The result is one of the year's best films, an extraordinarily measured examination of life inside Belfast's Maze prison where, in 1981, 10 members of the Irish Republican Army died from hunger strikes that gripped the outside world but couldn't sway Margaret Thatcher's British government. Punctuated by bloody, institutionalised violence, Hunger is an examination of the body as a weapon of last resort."

My obvious Republican sympathies aside, this is a great movie. It's out now in selected cinemas, and you need to see it. I mean, Gott Damm, if 'bloody, institutionalised violence' isn't a big enough draw card for you then go see it for the 'dirty protest' that the prisoners engage in which sees them smearing their own shit on the walls of their cells in curiously artistic patterns.

I Haven't Posted In a Week

And this picture sums up how I feel about that.

After a 14 hour drinking marathon at the Spanish Festival on Johnston Street on Saturday, my emotional state was that of the unattractive, jaundiced slug-type creature, desperately needing a comforting hug off someone... anyone.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Don't Pat The Panda

An Australian school girl got bitten by a panda in a zoo in China.

"We actually got to feed the pandas instead of cleaning up after them!," the (students') blog reads.

"The pandas seemed to enjoy their food which consisted of bamboo, carrots and panda cake. Most of us were able to scratch a baby panda’s back!"

However, the blog makes no mention of a student bitten by a panda."

Another smear campaign against Communist China.

Jazz Legend Kurt Elling Drops Jewels

And if you are interested in making music at all, you better listen.

"We all know the mentor/players of the past whose bands created and affected generations of great musicians and teachers. The Universities of Art Blakey, Horace Silver, Buddy Rich, Betty Carter, Maynard Ferguson, and so many others we revere all helped shape the present. But now we — you! — are the primary teachers. Some people bemoan the loss of the old context without acknowledging the great opportunity before us – to embrace our own time and to make the most of it. We have access to great gifts from the past, and we are charged with passing them on through our own hands.

We have to figure how to transmit this great past so that it empowers students — not to relive another generation’s past — but to articulate what it means for the students, themselves, to be alive, now. Not wishing they’d been born decades ago, when giants walked the earth. Worshipping the past is a trap that causes chronic pain among our people. We must be wary as teachers and performers of seeming to yearn too much for what’s gone. It makes audiences and our students devalue their present experiences and regret — rather than celebrate and challenge — the moment they were born into. If jazz is to be truly relevant to the future we must stop defining ourselves to such an extraordinary degree by our glorious past. The Buddha says, “If you meet the Buddha in the road, kill him and become Buddha yourself.”

Preach. Right on brother Kurt. If you substitute "music" for "jazz,"it stand up pretty well across the board.

First Things First

Get these two albums.

Q Tip The Renaissance, and........

Devin The Dude Landing Gear.

Obviously, being the ethical dude that I am, I can't post the zShare or Rapid Share rar files, but, you know.......

If you add these two gems to Ice Cube's Raw Footage, it's turning out to be quite a good year for the kind of Rap music that I like.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Yma Sumac Has Passed Away

"Who is she?" you ask. Well, she was a soprano singer with a four octave vocal range, which is incredibly rare.

"Such a range is so unusual because the human voice is very limited and we use only a small part of it. This makes it very difficult to expand the vocal range and articulate such high notes.

Exploiting the range we do have comes down to physical aspects, like body structure and the length of vocal cords, technique and psychological attitude."

And she was from Peru. I keep telling ya, Latin America is where all the fun stuff happens.

This Is BOGUS, man

The Mexican Walking Fish is endangered. But get your money right, and make sure you keep your mortgage payments up.

People Need to "Take it easy" When it Comes to Berlusconi

If this gets blown out of proportion, I'll be really pissed off. Berlusconi's a corrupt fuck, but when someone busts out something harmless, innocuous, and kinda funny like this, the PC wimps need to just let it dangle.

Basically, he mentioned that Obama has an even tan. Of his off-the-cuff remark, he commented:

"Why are they taking it as something negative? ... If they have the vice of not having a sense of humour, worse for them."

Thems words to live by.

We're The Kings of Sunshine!!!

Ok, so this article isn't about Dino Dibra, or anyone from Sunshine for that matter. But it is a ripping yarn about some crazy fuck from Broadmeadows who ripped off a bunch of stupid investors to the tune of $7 Million by claiming to be an Arabian Prince.

"Omar Jihad Yusuf, 40, travelled the world, drove a Ferrari, bought a racehorse and enjoyed panoramic views from his corner office at 101 Collins Street until his fantasy world came crashing down following an Age investigation in late 2004.

On a website for "Yusuf Holdings", the self-styled prince falsely claimed he had interests in pharmaceuticals, oil, aviation, property and perfume with 6500 employees worldwide and an annual turnover of $US650 million."

So simple. So brilliant. And he'll probably avoid jail due to mental incapacity. Where can I sign up for narcissistic personality disorder?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Is There A Smith Street In Collingswood?

Come and live in Collingwood. I mean, go and live in Collingswood.
In New Jersey. Apparently it, "has become sought after not only because of its walkable downtown and accessible public transportation, but also for an eclectic housing stock and a diverse population."

On second thoughts, I'll just stick to the junkies, vagrants and derelicts on Smith Street. I don't want to live that close to Tony Soprano (obviously, Chopper Read is much better).

The Knicks So Far: So So

After closing out the game today against Charlotte (Zach Randolph is really stepping up since D'Antoni's what the fuck decision to bench Eddie Curry), The Knicks are now 2-2. If they stay around .500 for the whole season, that should get them to the playoffs - but that's a big if.

Just on that matter of D'Antoni DNP CDing (Did Not Play, Coach's Decision) Curry, what the fuck is going on with Stephon Marbury? GM Donnie Walsh, head coach D'Antoni, and the petulant little fuck Marbury himself all sat down recently to work out what was gonna happen (Was he going to play? Was he going to get traded?). And they decided.............nothing.

They're not gonna trade him. They're not gonna buy him out. They're not gonna play him. They're just gonna let him sit around practice and on the bench at games, sulking.

I'm not the biggest Marbury fan, I didn't rejoice when he came to New York, but God Damn! I know he's an erratic, temperamental prick who's derailed the Knicks' season on a number of occasions due to his selfish bullshit, but doesn't keeping him around to quietly seethe in the corner just poison the player group?

Either play him, or get rid of him. That's my opinion, anyway.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

"America, surprise us/And let a black man guide us" - Nas

Wow. It's very hard to know what to say at a time like this. I'm happy and hopeful, scared and cynical, all at the same time. Barrack Obama will be the first African American president in history.

As Ice Cube so eloquently put it, "Some of our folks used to hang from ropes." In less than 80 years we've gone from this:

To this:

Before I let my cynical nature take over (and it will, in the next few days), I just want to let this sink in. Regardless of his inexperience (see, it's creeping in already), Obama has energized the political process and engaged the younger generation in a way that no politician has in my lifetime (and arguably since John F. Kennedy).

If he achieves nothing more than encouraging African Americans specifically, and disenfranchised minorities generally, to get involved in politics because they can relate to this president much more than any of his predecessors, he will have performed an incredible service.

It's exciting to think that the biggest criticism I can think of right now is the fact that, when you expose Obama's relative inexperience, all you are left with is hope.

It's very affirming to have hope as a worst-case-scenario.

......... Actually, I've decided that this post is far too serious and earnest in tone, so I've included one more pic

Monday, November 3, 2008

Wow, Yao

And to round out this decidedly Asian-flavoured "school of posts" (patent pending), something completely ridiculous from the largest Chinaman in the world. I think. Although there are quite a few of them, so I can't prove that to a certainty....

It's Like This Every Day In Asia

Check out these awesome Asian movie posters.

Filling The Void With Pop Culture

The title of this post comes from my man El Niño, and I interpret it to mean that (apart from the vey enlightened and the very stupid) we all have a sense of profound lacking, or 'something missing' in our lives. Some of us (with varying levels of success) choose to fill this space up with meaningless pop culture stuff. We all do it from time to time, some more than others.

This hit home the other day when my girl mentioned that a few weeks ago she was bumping Ice Cube's "I Got My Locs On" (featuring Young Jeezy), but that it had a short shelf life for her. I started thinking about how The Roots laid this problem out in the intro to one of their earlier albums (I think it was Things Fall Apart???) years ago. "Hip Hop music is treated as disposable, it's potential is not even maximized in a commercial sense, let alone as art." Or something like that.

Hip Hop is on the cutting edge of consumerism. It always has been. But now it's at such an accelerated pace that it's not cool to dig something forever. Or for a whole year. Or a month, if you wanna be really cool. Remember how HOT Bathing Ape was a minute ago?

We can't just keep on consuming and discarding, consuming and discarding. Or, to speak more truthfully, we can but we risk losing any sense of artistic endeavour and meaning. The 'Ring Tone Rapper' generation don't know that they can have more, it's like Generation Y in reverse. It's crazy.

End transmission.


Yep, this is bellydancing. I think?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Be A Hater and Up Your IQ?

Apparently when you see someone you hate, you get smarter.

"British neuroscientists did fMRI brain scans of subjects while they looked at pictures of people they claimed to hate. As a baseline, they also showed them pictures of people they felt neutrally about. Not surprisingly, hatred activated the regions of the brain associated with aggression and the motor regions that would translate this aggression into action. And given that love often turns into hate, it's not too surprising that hatred also activates two brain regions, the putamen and the insula, associated with passionate, romantic love."

An interesting finding seems to be that the sense of hatred improves judgement and predictive ability.

I'm a little skeptical, because as much football as I watch, I should be some kind of Nostradamus after the amount of times I've seen Dirk Kuyt get Liverpool out of jail.

The World Needs Rappers...... To Keep The Fuck Out of Politics

A bunch of massively successful, trascending, iconic urban music folks have been so magnanimous as to jot down their thoughts on the US election so that we can bask once again in the after glow of their shining star as it burns past us.

"It ain't over, until it's over. There is still so much work to be done. The thrill of victory is just 1 week away. We hear it in the streets, we feel it in our hearts and it's burning in our souls."

Now, Jay Z in particular has done a lot of good work (through the United Nations) all over the globe in terms of promoting the need to conserve water etc. but at some point these fuckers have to realise that, basically, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

More Photos from "Do Anything For You" Film Clip Shoot

Me and J Wess in 1930s mode. I keep coming across photos from this shoot, I should probably post them all at once but I'm too lazy.

The single should be out before the end of the year. I've been writing a lot of solo stuff lately, so it won't be too hard for us to follow up J's album with my album. Time will tell if and when that will be though, music might be the first luxury to fall by the wayside when the revolution comes. It's all good, I'll be ready either way.

How Did John Howard Ever Beat This Man?

I was gonna just post this excellent piece of news about Keating debunking the 'Australian Spirit Was Forged at Gallipoli' myth, but then I found the You Tube clip. It really is unbelievably good. I love this man.

Anyway, back to the Gallipoli bizzo.

Gallipolli was shocking for us," Mr Keating said. "Dragged into service by the imperial government in an ill-conceived and poorly executed campaign, we were cut to ribbons and dispatched. And none of it in the defence of Australia."

Preach. Now how about that Republic we've been waiting for, eh? Keating for President.

"I came in the door/I said it before, I never let the mic magnetize me no more....."

Take A Young Boy For a Spin?

Apparently the Catholic Church is going to implement some kind of 'Sex Drive Test' for future priests.

"The guidance says the voluntary tests should also aim to vet for those with "deep-seated homosexual tendencies".

Among other traits that might make a candidate unsuitable for the priesthood, the advice lists "uncertain sexual identity," "excessive rigidity of character" and "strong affective dependencies"."

Deep seated homosexual tendencies, huh? Judging by the amount of law suits piling up, it would be easier to weed out the priests who don't have any issues with celibacy and just change Catholicism to a Doomsday cult.