Saturday, April 3, 2010

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

It's Not Easy Being Green

What could possibly snap me out of my blog-coma? Well, a couple of things. Maybe three, actually. Three things.

First of all, garrulous former Prime Minister Paul Keating has descended from the sky like the archangel Gabriel (yet again) to pass hilariously combative judgement on a current active politician who he doesn't approve of.

"It was bad enough having the real John Howard ... at least Howard was a militant, aggressive conservative driving in reverse through the rear-vision mirror."

Now normally even a Keating fanboy like myself can admit that such rants aren't, umm, all that balanced, but I mean fuck it - he's talking about Tony Abbott, who can argue?

Moving on, it's St. Paddy's day tomorrow. And if you're any type of Mick in Melbourne, chances are you've spent some time at the Paddy in the Park shindig at The Dan O'Connell pub in Carlton. But if you don't get down there tomorrow, you might never spend another St. Patrick's day on the hallowed lawn again.

From The Age:

CARLTON'S Dan O'Connell Hotel will celebrate St Patrick's Day for the last time on March 17 because of liquor licensing restrictions.

The venue has celebrated the day for 100 years, with up to 5000 patrons drinking green beer and listening to local folk, Celtic and rock musicians on an outdoor stage in the adjoining park.

But owners say that new liquor licensing restrictions will force it to close at 10pm, making it financially unviable.

''The festival has enjoyed the overwhelming support of local residents, Melbourne City Council and Victoria Police,'' said manager Toby Kingsley.

This shit is pretty bogus, so please take a moment to join The Dan's facebook group and help them stand up against the rising tide of reactionary bullshit that has already claimed The Tote (how's that going by the way, have young yobs stopped glassing each other yet?).

While I was trying to find some kind of amusing image to accompany this Emerald-tinged post (in part to distract you from the relatively poor quality of the same), I found myself googling 'leprechaun,' which threw up the following hilarious suggested searches:

Leprechaun trap

Leprechaun in Alabama

Leprechaun in the 'hood

And just in case you've tried everything to trap the little bastards, maybe try using oatmeal cans.

It kinda feels like the Dublin Aunts should do something annual on St. Patrick's Day. Maybe next year we can work something out.

Anyway, everybody wear something green and get outrageously drunk manyana. Slainte!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Scotland The Brave, or The Wife Beater?

I'm trying to snap this lazy streak of non-blogging, and my latest ploy is to just throw together a bunch of random stuff that's on my mind in one sort of indecipherable amorphous blob. Hence the sweet picture of Larry Bird and Dr. J choking each other out. Enjoy it. It won't be referred to or contextualized.

Apparently the wee laddies in Glasgow are not ones for gender equality.

The 11 and 12-year-olds were questioned in depth about their attitudes and aspirations towards gender roles and behaviour.

They were asked to consider whether or not a man was justified in punching his partner when he found out she had had an affair.

Nearly all of the children thought that the woman deserved to be hit.

The majority of the pupils said it was justified if the woman had an affair, or if she was late in making the tea.

Come on. Glasgow? What did they expect? Don't get me wrong, I'll always have a soft spot for Glasgow (it's where my grandpappy on dad's side hails from), but that's like doing a 'How d'ya feel about those Israelis then?' vox pop in Hamas headquarters. What could have been potentially much more expositional would have been doing a similar experiment on kids here in supposedly-enlightened Melbourne. I'm guessing the results would have been much subtler (not hard) but skewed the same way.

On a related note, Robbie Keane has landed at Glasgow Celtic FC and he just looks right in the green and white hoops.

He hasn't set the world on fire so far, but he's linking up nicely with attacking midfielder/winger Aiden McGeady. I just had to include this image (lifted from the front page of ESPN Soccernet last week) coz it captures the tone of Celtic fans everywhere. Loitering outside the pub. Waiting for stuff to happen. Reacting in an extreme fashion, no matter what that 'stuff' turns out to be.

Finally for today, I've rediscovered one of my favourite bands from the 90s, Living Colour. Cool site, check 'em out. Love Rears It's Ugly Head, etc.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Longley Uses eBay for Non-selfish Purposes That Aid Science, Apparently Doesn't Get It

Here's a random basketball-related fact:

Former Aussie NBA teammate of Michael Jordan, and 3 time NBA "World" Champion, Luc Longley vied for and won the naming rights to a recently discovered species of shrimp.

Longley, who had participated in marine conservation efforts before, named the shrimp Lebbeus clarehanna after his 15-year-old daughter, Clare Hanna Longley.

Serpico on Serpico, Pacino Dancing, and Gay Clubs

I feel bad about the way this post has evolved. I wanted to simply link to this interesting article about the real-life Serpico (who Al Pacino famously played to critical acclaim in the movie by that name). But then I thought I'd add a visual aid, and a scene from the movie was the logical next step.

So I went looking for the scene where Al P dances around hilariously at the bohemian party he goes to. But I couldn't find it. Then I found this amazing clip of him dancing at a gay bar in Cruising. Actually, Pacino has a solid track record of entertaining dance moves in many of his movies. I'll try to compile a list one day.

So I feel I should discuss the article a little bit. The real Serpico is back living somewhere in upstate New York, after years moving around Europe. He still has a lot of powerful enemies in the NYPD, and his life wasn't that great when he was overseas either (he married and had kids, but his wife died young). But still, we read about these legendary characters and pine for the kind of importance, relevance, or 'full life' that they've had. Never stopping to think about how crap that life may well be.

Sometimes, those TPS reports are alright.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Speaking of New York City...

Check out this story about a little Mick point guard who plays for St. Patrick's (the best High School team in the USA), and finds time to work the standup comic circuit while he juggles practice, basketball road trips, and a steady stream of accusations of nepotism (his dad's the coach).

North Carolina’s Dexter Strickland, then paired in the backcourt with Boyle, listened to his teammate’s quick quips at Mario’s Pizzeria around the corner from the school, and said, “I’d pay money just to hear you talk.”

The appearances started in April at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, N.J. All of 18, Boyle, known for calling one teammate Unibrow and giving out the assistant coach Ray Miller’s cellphone number as his own, talked about “keeping it real” with a girl and getting tipsy at a bar while on a team trip to South Carolina.

“I don’t want to sound like a clown, but it doesn’t take much to make a bunch of drunk Rutgers kids laugh,” Boyle said.

The next step was Caroline’s on Broadway.

He's probably not very funny, but still. It's kinda cool.

HBO Is About To Stay Winning

Apparently Boardwalk Empire is HBO's new crack at the uber-props-universal-adoration slot that's been vacant since The Soprano's ended.

Prohibition Era, Tammany Hall type politics (corrupt ward bosses, who's the statesman and who's the gangster?), and everyone's favourite creepy looking motherfucker, Steve Buscemi. All under the guise of the New Jersey waterfront and the forging of what has come to be known as Atlantic City.

I'm on board.

I've never been to Atlantic City, but I'll be back in NYC later this year so I'll give it a shot if anyone's got any recommendations?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Finally, Something Worth Blogging About

I was driving home from Albert Park tonight and I saw a billboard for Nine, the new movie starring Daniel Day Lewis. Being completely oblivious to the existence of this project, I kind of lost my shit.

I'll watch anything with this dude in it. In The Name of The Father is one of my favourites, and he even made the otherwise pedestrian-at-best Gangs of New York somewhat watchable. Few things that are notable about this trailer, which is better than the one you can see below:

Daniel Day Lewis doesn't say a word during the whole 2 and a half minutes, and he still holds the center of attention (but that's probably only because we don't get a better look at Miss Cruz).

Sophia Loren finally looks her age. That's not a criticism at all. Actually, it's kind of a relief. I was starting to get a bit concerned at the fact that I've been having sexual fantasies about her for 15 years and during that time she hasn't aged at all. I wonder how Raquel Welch is doing....

It's directed by the dude who did Chicago, and more apathetic about musicals as a genre, I could not be, but I have a feeling I'll enjoy this one as a film despite itself.

On a completely unrelated note, after watching some highlights of the African Nations Cup match between heavyweights Ivory Coast and Ghana (who are in the Socceroos group at the world cup in June), I've come to the conclusion that we're completely f*&ked.

Unless we can figure out a way to beat Serbia.

I guess it could happen. They're a pretty passive, had-an-easy-life, take-it-lying-down type of people, right?

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Only 2 Years Until The World Ends (Mayans, motherf*&kers - Mayans!)

Ok, rubes. I'm back.

Here's a list of things I should've blogged about since my last post almost a month ago (in no particular order):


I have absolutely nothing insightful to share, but I could've easily paraphrased The Kid, or G, or any one of the dozen or so people I know who actually have a clue, and passed the ideas off as my own without most of you finding out. Except for the fact that both The Kid and G read this blog. But then hilarity could've ensued in the comments.


More specifically, the sheer quantity of it that I consumed during December generally and on Christmas Day specifically. Not as some sort of late 20's crisis boast, but rather as a heads-up excuse for the vacant look in my eyes and the reddened cheeks on my face next time you see me. In my defense, I went without a drop of cerveza from November 28 until Christmas Eve, so I feel that the spike in whiskey consumption was somewhat mitigated. I mean, c'mon, no one ever stops drinking completely. Do they?

The New York Knicks.

This is a fairly recent eventuation, but those fuckers actually beat early season Eastern Conference front-runners the Atlanta Hawks IN Atlanta.

In other events, The Old Firm Derby is on tonight and if Rangers win then the title is likely to stay in the blue, God-Save-The-Queen (in other words, the crap) part of Glasgow.

It's 2010 in my heart, my mind, and my pants.