Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Global what?

In light of US Congress rejecting the $700bn bailout, I was compelled to cast my mind back to '06 and '07, when it seemed like the upcoming US election was going to be the 'environmental' election. Remember how Al Gore was absolutely everywhere, getting all the love and attention that you necessarily miss out on when you're VP to Mr. Party Time himself, Slick Willy Clinton?

Now think about the last few months of campaigning in the US. "Will a woman or a black dude get on the Democrat ticket?" "Is John McCain going to live long enough to be sworn in should he (God forbid) win?" "Who the fuck are Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?" "Can Cleatus and Charlene overcome the phonetic similarities between Obama and Osama come election day (and were they even going to get out the vote anyway)?" These were the questions that started to emerge.

Now, with the 'financial meltdown' taking centre stage (and summer fast approaching down here in the Southern Hemisphere), it gives me great pleasure to announce that we don't care anymore about that pie-in-the-sky conservationist global warming crap (which hasn't even been proven to a certainty yet) - so crank up the airconditioner, don't think twice about that 3rd shower that you were planning on having just coz you went outside in the heat for a minute and it made you feel 'icky and sticky.'

It's financial armaggedon, motherfuckers. The least we could do is help the environment catch up. Luckily, it isn't that far behind.


Fuck The Police

No pics in today's posts, we're all gonna have to tighten our belts a little now that the Free Market Fan Boys (and Girls) have been rebuffed.

Anyway, this post isn't about that. It's about police brutality, and what a pretty great place the United States of America is. Check it out.

So the coppers busted a few scones outside the Democratic National Convention in Denver the other week, and then got commemorative T Shirts made up.

"We get up early, to beat the crowds," the shirt reads, followed by "2008 DNC." The words flank a grinning police officer holding a baton and wearing a hat with a crossed-out number "68," presumably making reference to activist organization Recreate 68, which staged several anti-war demonstrations during the convention."

Worse than the cops, though, is any group of limp-wristed lefties who dub their organisation 'Recreate 68.' What is that, an attempt to channel the civil disobedience and consciousness of the Sixties? Go to hell.

Cops are just everyday schlubs like you and me, the main difference being when they hit the wall and asked themselves, "What do I want to do with my life?" the answer was, "Bash c*nts with sticks."

Thursday, September 25, 2008

It's Still Going On

Celtic FC legend, former Northern Ireland captain and member of the current Celtic coaching staff Neill Lennon was jumped by two cowardly loyalist scumbags in a sectarian attack in Glasgow.

"In 2003, Lennon vowed he would never play for his country again because of a reported death threat.

Loyalist paramilitaries, drawn overwhelmingly from Northern Ireland's Protestant community, insisted the warning was bogus but Lennon, a Catholic, said he was not prepared to suffer any more sectarian victimisation.

He had previously been booed by sections of the Northern Ireland support."

I don't really need to tell you how I feel about this. If you REALLY wanna know, read this.

Up The Hoops!

Me Likey, Part Deux

If you're one of the 3 people who regularly read this, you'll recognise the style from the 'God vs. A Sense of Humour' post.

And the Award for The Most Pointless Question We Can Ever Ask Ourselves Goes To...

Check out this gem from the good folks at the Human Consciousness Project.

I thought something as empirical-sounding as 'the scientific study of death' would involve autopsies, perhaps a slight cultural element thrown in with a bit of anthropology - but the presence of the word 'scientific' makes me think that this kind of bullshit is out of place:

"A lot of people hold this idea that, well, when you die, you die; that's it. Death is a moment - you know you're either dead or alive."

Isn't that kinda true? The guy goes on to say that this is a 'social definition.' But the spurious reasoning doesn't stop there, my friends:

"Now, if you look at the mind, consciousness, and the brain, the assumption that the mind and brain are the same thing is fine for most circumstances, because in 99% of circumstances we can't separate the mind and brain; they work at the exactly the same time."

Ok. So we can take it as a given that the mind and the brain are the same thing? When did that get announced? I thought that was one of those unanswerable questions that will still be getting kicked around first year Philosophy classes at Universities in the year 2387.

I had no idea about this....

Oliver Stone's about to release a movie about the life and times of George W. Bush
. And that guy in the picture, my friends, is Josh Brolin!??!?!!?? That's right, the dude who nailed the modern desperado role in No Country For Old Men is starring as either the stupidest president of all time, or the most ambitious, over achieving high-functioning autistic (depending on if you're having a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty kind of day). This is kinda surreal, a little scary (will this be the hatchet job we all demand? Not likely - so will it be misguidedly circumspect instead?) but it's important and I'm glad that "reformed" (yeah right) cocaine cowboy Ollie Stone is skippering the venture.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'm Down With The Kings

In this modern world where rappers are selling mineral water and buying sporting franchises, it's nice to take a moment to remember when the mere mention of "rap music" made the middle classes shudder with fear and lock up their lily white daughters as soon as they caught wind of news that the jive-talkin' black folk were touring through their town. It was in just this type of environment that Rev Run, DMC and Jam Master Jay (R.I.P.) diverted the mainstream with songs about sneakers and how difficult it is to write good rhymes (it's still tricky, believe me). Not that I necessarily give a fuck about a Hall of Fame, but it's still nice to see the first Hip Hop superstars recognised as such.

Scenes From Socotra Island

I found this eerily beautiful imagery under the title 'most alien-looking places on planet earth,' so you kinda know what to expect. But not really. There's clearly some unprecedented shit going on on this island. As discussed in immediately previous posts, this shit is on offer for a limited time only so enjoy it before it becomes a distant memory that you struggle to relay to your only son in a post-Apocalyptic society while you struggle against adversity on the open road and try to get him to the coast before you die...

Dead Man Asks For a Drink

This is a shameless rip from The Irish Times, but I can't add anything to it:

"While being brought to Mexico City in an automobile from Ixtapalapa state where he was found hanging to a telegraph pole, Maximino Valganon, supposed to be a corpse, sat up and demanded a drink. The two men accompanying him became panic stricken and fled. Valganon was found by a peasant, who cut him down and turned over the body to the police. He is in a serious condition, unable to tell what led to the hanging."

That's literally all that was said on the matter in this Irish Times article, but read on if you want other bite sized hilarity on similar 'what-the-fuck-izms.'

Looks Like We're All Dead Meat...

I have steadily been preparing myself mentally for the Apocalypse ever since the financial fuckery started to make itself explicit, but now that I'm seeing stuff like this emerge, it's full-scale ahead with the camouflage and rations.

So the U.S. Army is getting ready to throw it down on a global scale to secure and protect resources. How brilliantly Mad Max (hence the title of the post - did you catch that???). Man, I can't believe how much things have changed since the Clinton administration. Maybe it's because I was about to embark on my teen years when Slick Willy assumed power, and thus during the tenure of his two terms I grew through my teens and up to my twenties (enjoying all the attendant rampant solopsism and reveling), but it just seems like planet earth was way more fun before we realised we'd been choking it for the last couple of hundred years. It's pretty appropriate that we're all facing up to this sobering truth during the Dubya Bush administration, one of the least 'party time' administrations in recent memory.

Monday, September 22, 2008

A Little Ray of Sunshine

Ok, so today wasn't a total bust. Arsenal are currently sitting atop the EPL after their sterling effort against Bolton (3-1 victory), and after Chelsea and Man Utd drew 1-all. We're cruising along nicely right now, not really on anyone's radar - all we have to do is make sure we grow a pair and man up when we play Chelsea or Man U. Liverpool are ridiculous (nil all against Stoke? Gimme a break) and Tottenham are hilarious.

I'm Havin' a Bad Day So Stay Outta My Way

I had a shitty fucking Monday today. No sleep, a hangover from a hangover, and all sorts of aches and pains in my body that definitely didn't go away the longer I sat at my computer. Then I remembered the lyric from Onyx (the title of this blog post) and I thought I'd embed the film clip for Throw Ya Gunz. But the fuckers at Universal have disabled all embedding privileges apparently (which is interesting, coz I don't see them doing much else for yesterday's groups like Onyx), so you'll have to go over to youtube to check it.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

not all milk is mothers.

domestic leagues kick back into action this weekend after an entertaining set of european excursions mid-week just past.

plenty of wonderful bylines but let's get to the guts of the matter with a view to making a quid and keeping those credit crunch ghouls conceptual at worst.

i could preview all EPL games but with a view to keeping things functionally fluid it'll rather be those of interest from all leagues with a particular focus on the EPL, and a couple of preferred bets for those with the inclination.

chelsea v. man united

glamour fixture of the round with the two most favoured going head to head. man united will welcome an apparently 'ready' ronaldo back whom did clock half an hour against a gallant villareal midweek in the nil-all draw. chelsea have been rampant so far this year and scolari has been doing a great job additionally of confounding the rapacious geezer mediamob. man united are yet to recapture the form that led them to most everything they cast their goggles upon last season and will be conceding a healthy lead to chelsea this early in the season should they drop this fixture. yet i suspect that that is exactly what will happen, despite the golden child's return to the red devils this week. notable for chelsea so far this season have been the new additions of scolari's countrymen deco and bosingwa. i like the 2.15 on offer here for the win.

bet of the week: 1 unit on chelsea for the straight win against man u in the EPL on sunday night at 2.15.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Sneak Peek Behind The Scenes of Upcoming J Wess single

The track is called 'Do Anything For You' featuring my good self and Jerson Trinidad (unquestionably the best soul singer in the country).

You can see a sneak peek teaser of the film clip, and a stack of other photos from the shoot, here.

I don't know who that handsome devil in the black and white pic is, but I like the cut of his jib.

You Know I Love These....

Street art with a political flavour
. Not as cool as the Brazilian shit I posted a while back, but still kinda nice. I've gotta say though, none of these are as impactful as some of the shit you see on The Falls Road in Belfast.

Pure Genius

If you're not familiar with Akira Kurosawa's films, then two things at least are true:

1. I hate you, and
2. You need to make Rashomon the next movie you see

The Japanese master's magnum opus has been restored and is being screened somewhere is Beverly Hills. Not much use to most of us, but worth a mention anyway.

P.S. I don't really hate you (all three of you)

A Good Question.......

This is a really interesting article about the nature of human belief, faith and hope.

"A recent story on ABCNews.com said 80 million Americans believe we have been visited by aliens from another planet, and numerous studies show that millions of people believe in ghosts, extrasensory perception and, of course, alien abductions."

Well, ok, maybe it's not exclusively about such noble concepts. But thankfully we can just dismiss the above quote (which appears in the opening paragraph of the article) by acknowledging that Americans are not the best litmus test for, well, anything. Except maybe obesity and geographical ignorance (oh we do pretty well in those stakes downunder too, don't you worry about that).

The main meat revolves around this type of sentiment:

"Alone in the animal world, humans understand cause and effect, and that, he says, led ultimately to the invention of tools, the rapid rise of sophisticated technology, and of course, beliefs."

Not right, or wrong, just interesting. Like midget porn.

It Was a Good Day

So it's been a couple of days, I've been doing shit and it was my birthday yesterday - that's why I've been slacking.

It was a pretty good day yesterday. I had breakfast at Birdman Eating in Collingwood (if you live in Melbourne, you need to go there) then walked into the city, stopping by St. Patrick's Cathedral on the way. I just kinda strolled the grounds, smiling and nodding at the tourists, and then I decided to enter the church.

The place was packed with Catholic school girls all singing in unison, celebrating their feast day. My presence caused some disruption in the back row and a matronly nun came over and kicked me out. Excellent.

I got a coffee at Pelligrini's, then went home for some lunch before skipping across town to lay down a few tracks with J Wess (which I'll post in due course).

Later in the afternoon I stopped by The Celtic Club for a pint of that thick black robust, then went home for a home cooked Mexican Lasagne.


Saturday, September 13, 2008

Reason # 1, 459 why TWNR

Kinda funny. Drags on a bit though. More evidence that no one feels in the least bit threatened by Rap music anymore.

More Reasons Why I Heart Latin America

It seemed like such good news when socialist man of the people (seriously, in the literal sense, not in the usual bullshit politics sense) Evo Morales was voted in as the President of Bolivia.

But things aren't going so swimmingly these days. Kicking a U.S. ambassador out of your country is a quick, cheap way to get yourself a mention in my humble little blog though. So I'm still pulling for ya, Evo.

Geeks Tell Fastest Man in the History of the Planet, "You could've run faster."

This is so very funny.

"Hans Eriksen of the Institute of Theoretical Astrophysics at the University of Oslo, Norway, and his colleagues, who normally spend their time pondering deep mysteries of the cosmos, wondered whether a few simple calculations might reveal how fast Bolt could have run."

So a bunch of high waist belt, tucked in plaid short sleeved shirt, World of War Craft playin' nerds weren't happy about Bolt's showboating finish to the 100M in the Olympics, and set out to prove just how much he's wasting his talent.


How Much Has Hip Hop Softened in 10 Quick Years?

Now I didn't actually watch the MTV VMAs last week, so in large part I have no reason to comment. But my man Weez gave me the rundown (he's the pop culture guru around these parts), and I've read several things that made me cast my mind back nostalgically to The Grammys ten years ago when ODB rushed the stage.

This is a funny little blog post about the VMAs that proves a few points:

1. Everyone knows about Rap music now
2. Even geeky pop music fans feel entitled to crack jokes about current Rap music & artists
3. Neither of the first two points were true 10 years ago

Kanye West prancing around doing some kind of weird vocal bastardization + the fact that Lil' Wayne is now the hottest rapper on the planet = times is changed.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Cooler Than a Polar Bear's Toenails

This is just magic. What's cooler than Sesame Street? Nothing. Who's cooler than Stevie Wonder? Nobody. Win-win-win.

Only two posts tonight, coz I'm tired and still recovering from the early start I got today watching The Mighty Socceroos get their World Cup qualifying campaign off to a flying start with a one nil away win in Uzbekistan.

Stand up for The Socceroos, motherfucker. But groove with Stevie first.

Cock 'o' The Walk, Baby!

I love this man. He's been in two of my favourite movies of all time: The Deer Hunter and The King of New York, and he's increasingly showing his unhinged/comedy side in more recent movies. Not a bad dancer, either (check out Fatboy Slim's 'Weapon of Choice' film clip if you don't believe me).

But the best thing he's ever done is probably the cowbell skit from SNL (word to Weez and Greggerz). So it's with great pleasure that I present this.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Underground Lakes

Another shameless jack from digg, I couldn't pass up on this though. These images of 10 amazing underground lakes are, well, amazing (shut up - The Socceroos are playing a World Cup Qualifier against Uzbekistan tonight and that's where what little mental energy I can muster at any one time is focused presently).

Latent Kombat

I used to love this game when I was a kid. So this is equal parts disturbing, hilarious and sacreligious.

A Sense of Humour vs. God

Me likey.

Times a Changin' Uptown?

Being the place where I spent a magical month back in 2000 as a wide eyed young MC learning my craft, Harlem will always have a special place in my heart. I stayed in the Sugar Hill hostel for $25 a night and lit out for nocturnal adventures like performing live at Howard College (midtown) and drinking very strong rum and coke's at St. Nick's jazz lounge (where Charlie Parker once cut a live album) while listening to the smooth sounds of house band Harlem Soul.

So it's with a heavy heart that I read shit like this.

"Megan Newman, a woman in her 40s who works in publishing and recently moved to Harlem with her husband, after having lived most of her life in other neighborhoods in the city, described it as “such an interesting, oddball place.”

Hmm, Megan Newman huh? Yeah, aren't those black folk cute and quaint with their liquor stores, hair salons, rap albums and phenomenal athletic ability?


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I Wish The Knicks Were Still Rolling Like This....

This is the latest round of inductees into the NBA Hall of Fame. Legendary coach Pat Riley, revolutionary big man and 2 time World Champion Hakeem 'The Dream' Olajuwon, and my man Patrick Ewing - looking like he just staggered off a Yacht Party in Miami and had a jacket draped across him to meet the minimum dress requirement for the occasion.

Look at the shorts! Look at the "What the fuck" bewilderment in his face! It's all deadly.

Cheating On Your Partner..... With Your Hand

Great image accompanying this story on masturbation, some fairly spurious notions getting bandied around in the article though. I would argue that masturbation has nothing to do with relationships. It's a constant, a personal release. However, if you insist on dragging it into the vast sphere of 'relationship issues,' then I think this is the right attitude to adopt:

"There's a difference between privacy and total secrecy," says Brian Zamboni, a Minneapolis sex therapist. "You can say 'Yes, masturbation is part of our respective sexualities, but let's agree not to go into all the details."

Alternatively, if you're a relationship extremist who believes in disclosure of the truth at all costs, get used to hearing about your partner smashing off to images of celebrities you hate, mutual friends - maybe even that cute cousin of yours.

Evil Geniuses

We all know at least one. There was this guy that The Biz lived with once, a Chef who The Biz had kind of grown up with and knew quite well, who was a personable, friendly cat that we all liked. Sure, he had his quirks. In the morning when he got up and opened his bedroom door the whole house would face a wave of indescribable human body odour that could only be described as Morning Funk. But he was cool.

He started to get a bit antsy when people used his kitchen utensils. So one day The Biz went to the hallway closet to grab his coat before going out and when he opened the closet door a kitchen knife came hurtling out toward him, curling back inside the closet after narrowly missing his nose. Upon closer inspection it seemed that The Chef had rigged the closet (or booby-trapped, if you will), calculating where someone would be standing when they opened the closet and working out how far out the knife (which was attached to a series of socks knotted together, or some shit) would be able to swing without causing injury.

Along similar lines, check this out.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Good To Know for The Post Apocalypse

If you've read Cormac McCarthy's excellent novel The Road, or you plan on sticking around to eek out an existence after the Apocalypse (this post-apocalypse epoch will be called 'Kiddie Time,' but that's a story for someone else to tell), then this is a major FYI.

"For decades most fatigues, now referred to as battledress uniforms, incorporated wiggly patterns of solid colours known as tiger stripes. But research in the field of “clutter metrics”—the study of how well observers locate and identify objects—has recently discredited tiger stripes."

'Clutter metrics' is an excellent term, and it's definition delivers what it's pronunciation so richly promises. But discrediting Tiger Stripes? Let's not go crazy.

America: Still Racist?

Click on the chart to see some stats that you probably already knew in your heart of hearts. A lot of white Americans are still racist.

Really? Is this really a surprise? The real question is, are these closet racists who probably consider themselves anything but going to vote with the part of their brain that determines views on race relations, or are they going to shame themselves into using some other set of criteria?

How shit are we as a species that a man's skin is shaping up to be one of the defining factors in determining whether or not he takes up the role of Most Powerful Person In The World?

For the record, I want to see Obama win, but as I've said previously he's just a politician and he'll only let us down. Probably not as badly as John 'Homo habilis' McCain, and his new sexually-attractive-in-a-way-that-makes-you-mad-at-yourself running mate (someone had to come out and say it... seriously, I haven't been so attracted to a woman I hate so much since Naomi Campbell).

Maybe I'm in with a chance. I hear the Palin gals put out.

Stupid Names, Serious Implications?

This one will really "hit the hip pocket" of "The Battlers," and we'll all be "feeling the pressure at the petrol bowser."

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have finally fallen after stumbling for the last few months, the US government is stepping in to take over.

"The move is likely to wipe out the combined market value of both companies, which stood at $10.8 billion (€7.58 billion) at close of trading on Friday, and significantly affect the value of the companies' $36 billion (€25 billion) of preferred shares."

Oh, is that all? Phew, for a moment there I thought that we were gonna have to give up our fundamental human right to pretend to buy houses that we can't afford. Oh, wait a minute - we do!

"Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are so large and so interwoven in our financial system that a failure of either of them would cause great turmoil in our financial markets here at home and around the globe," he said. "A failure would affect the ability of Americans to get home loans, auto loans and other consumer credit and business finance."

WOO HOO! Let the good times roll, I say.

Comic Take on Google Chrome

This is another one of those 'nothing to add' posts. It's just a really, really, REALLY funny take on the launch of Google's new browser. Check the full thing out here.

I Heart Latin America

It's just such an exciting place. It's heads of state do cool stuff like address the United Nations the day after George W. Bush has spoken there, and say "Yesterday The Devil spoke here, and it still smells of sulfur." If you ever watch the news from Latin America, it plays like a soap opera. The Bolivian president is an indigenous Campesino ('man of the country' or 'field worker'), but it goes without saying that Mr. Chavez is the brightest star in the firmament. He's got his own daily tv and radio show called ¡Al√≥ Presidente! and I swear he spends every waking moment trying to work out how to best piss of the USA.

Oh, and the football teams and women in Latin America are ok, too.

Friday, September 5, 2008

And Now I'd Like to Turn to Lighter Matters.... Iraq

I don't like to post about Iraq. There's just nothing to say. But these photos are amazing. They're a little slanted to the USA, and I'm straight up disgusted by the painted-on optimism of the text at the top of the page (attacks down by 90% over the past two years? That's a bit too fucking rosy for my liking). But the photos are so poignant.

Something In The Way She Walks?

Straight from the 'Are You Fucking Serious?' files, comes this little gem about a new study exploring the correlation between a woman's gait and her orgasm patterns. I shit you not.

"A new study found that trained sexologists could infer a woman's history of vaginal orgasm by observing the way she walks."

Come on, really? People are getting government grants to do this kind of shit?

It seems that a random sample of Belgian women were chosen to fill out a form and then just kind of walk around for a while and let themselves be videotaped doing so.

"The videotapes were rated by two professors of sexology and two research assistants trained in the functional-sexological approach to sexology, who were not aware of the women's orgasmic history. "


I don't really need to add anything, do I? I'm pretty sure your face will be saying it all right about now. Two questions: Can you only become a professor of sexology in Belgium or West Scotland? And what the fuck does functional-sexological mean?

Art Imitating Boredom Imitating Life?

This is good. This is very very good. Nice work from the folks at projectsidewalk.

It's Like This Every Day In Brazil

Ok, so I don't have an image to go with this post, or a witty piece of commentary (why should I start providing those now?), or even a reason why I'm posting it. But just check this out.

First of all, get over the fact that it's in Portuguese. Then, put your first name in the first field and your second name in the second field. Finally, hit 'Visualizar.'


Thanks to The Biz for sending it through.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Relax, Don't Do It

The next time your mind starts wandering at work, and then you have that awful moment of panic where your brain snaps back to where it's "supposed" to be and you feel a whirlwind of guilt as you shuffle around your desk trying to get back to 'worker-bee # 5, 876' mode, take it easy. Maybe you were doing more work when you were daydreaming.

"In a culture obsessed with efficiency, daydreaming is derided as a lazy habit or a lack of discipline, the kind of thinking we rely on when we don't really want to think. It's a sign of procrastination, not productivity, something to be put away with your flip-flops and hammock as summer draws to a close."

Ok, that's true (which sux). But geez, there's no need to be a dick about it.

"...the content of daydreams often resembles a soap opera, with people reflecting on social interactions both real and make-believe. We can leave behind the world as it is and start imagining the world as it might be, if only we hadn't lost our temper, or had superpowers, or were sipping a daiquiri on a Caribbean beach. It is this ability to tune out the present moment and contemplate the make-believe that separates the human mind from every other."

Aahh, now I see where you were going with that! Cool, that sounds about right.


Especially word to sipping a daiquiri on a Caribbean beach.

iPhones - Making The Crims' Lives Easier?

I can't help it, it's in my nature (and my upbringing) to be naturally suspicious of all new technology. So a part of me loves it when stories like this come out.

Something about this vaguely reminds me of Nelson de-pantsing Martin Prince in his own swimming pool. Or 9th grade schoolyard bullies stealing money from the nerdy 7th graders.

Whatever. Anything's better than my last rant-disguised-as-a-post, right?

More Irish Matters

I will not pretend to be unbiased on this issue, but it seems that the pro-British Unionist parties in Northern Ireland will not be happy until the letters 'I,' 'R,' and 'A' are permanently scratched from the alphabet. This shit kind of makes my blood boil.

If we put aside the Ulster Plantation in the 17th Century (the Brits colonising Northern Ireland with rich Protestants, mostly from Scotland), and focus strictly on the last 100 odd years of turmoil, here are some facts we can consider:

The Provisional IRA sprang up strictly as a result of the demand of the Catholic population in Belfast to have someone protect them from the RUC (Royal Ulster Constabulary). The civil rights movement was in full swing in the sixties and the Catholic minority were frequently attacked when they organised peaceful marches.

Sinn Fein have consistently shown themselves to be more willing to communicate with a view to ending the conflict than have their Unionist counterparts. It's always Gerry Adams and Co. coming to the table willingly and Ian Paisley and Co. being dragged kicking and screaming, and only wanting to talk once they have gained some small piece of psychological advantage over the Nationalists ("We'll only talk when the IRA decommission and dump their arms, but the Loyalist paramilitaries can be left alone.")

And finally, all you have to do is look at the Republic of Ireland national flag. It was purposely designed to include the Green (Catholic Republican) and the Orange (Protestant Unionist) traditions, with a White strip (for peace) in the middle. The fact that this flag so incenses the Unionists, when they have never made any attempt to incorporate the Green in their plans, speaks volumes.

Ireland will be united one day, it's inevitable. 26 + 6 = One.

I'm off my soapbox now.

No Rest For The Wicked

I'm not sure if many people are aware that Jack Nicholson's deliciously unhinged turn as South Boston Irish American Mob Boss Frank Costello in Scorsese's 2006 gangster flick The Departed was inspired by the real life boss of South Boston, Whitey Bulger.

It's a pretty amazing story really. He began co-operating with the Feds in the seventies after an FBI agent from the same tough Southie projects as him convinced him it could serve his criminal purposes. In one of those 'where did the lines get blurred' situations, the lawman and the gangster become so entwined they were basically partners. Each helped the other progress in their chosen profession.

Anyway, Whitey has been on the run since 1995, when he got wind of a federal indictment coming down. He was the King of organised crime in Boston for the better part of 3 decades and is implicated in at least 19 murders. Second to only Osama Bin Laden on the FBI's top ten most wanted list, the reward for info that leads to his capture is now up to 2 millie.

The Fed who helped him out for all those years is now behind bars, but it's hard to believe that there wouldn't be someone still working at the FBI who wouldn't really want Whitey to turn up and start telling stories.

Shout to Weez for the hook-up.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

More Politics and Bullshit

In the wake of the National Democratic Convention, I thought this was a timely reminder that, at the end of the day, all politicians are the worst types of pragmatists and will ultimately only ever let us down. And that's regardless of left or right, black or white.

The list of Greatest Presidents and their Biggest Fuck Ups probably could have included Slick Willy (that reminds me, why's everyone making such a fuss about Obama? Stop acting like you didn't know Clinton was the first Black President) and his dilly dallying over Rwanda that left hundreds of thousands dead, but who wants to think about that when there's cigars and semen-stained dresses!

Oh, this has just reminded me how much I love Paul Keating. There will be posts. Oh yes, there will be posts......

New York Knicks Look Back Nostalgically

As a long suffering Knicks fan, I'm used to seeing my fair share of bullshit. I put up with their 'let's fill the roster with 4 guys who play shooting guard and pay one of them an astronomical salary completely out of sync with what he's acheived and his ability as a basketballer' crap, I didn't walk away when they brought in Stephon 'Give Me The Ball, Suck my C*ck, then get the f*ck out of the way and don't talk to me in the dressing room afterward' Marbury. I even kept the faith when Isiah Thomas decided to get all Clarence Thomas on the female staff over there at Madison Square Garden.

But now The Knicks are really pushing it. First they waste their number 6 pick in the NBA draft on this guy and today I read that they've signed the son of Knicks legend, former perennial All-Star and future Hall-of-Famer Patrick Ewing. Never mind the fact that Junior averaged an immasculating 6 points and 2 rebounds in College, The Knicks know what they're doing.

"Ewing isn't expected to be the impact player his father was, but he gives the Knicks a valuable public relations boost coming off last season's 23-59 record, matching the franchise record for losses. New York has posted seven straight losing seasons overall."

Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It

So today my man Brother Cake Instant Messaged me and said, "Never underestimate the therapeutic nature of Gangsta Rap," and in the face of such awesome truth I could only concur applaudingly.

I think that the film Office Space captures the attraction to Gangsta rap perfectly, and NOT in the ironic white-middle-class-educated-dickhole-snickering-at-the-rejoicing-in-ignorance kind of way that abounds in certain quarters (I'm looking at you, dudes in the painted on jeans with way too much room in the arse). The character in the movie, Michael Bolton, just loves Gangsta Rap. He LOVES it, and for no other reason than it just moves him. What's more it's a perfect fit when the printer in the office packs it in, or the coffee machine plays up, or that officious colleague who has taken assertion classes busts your balls. Surely that's got something to offer for all of us.

I heard it said once that a great Gangsta Rap album is like a great Hollywood action film: it's pulp. I'd tend to agree, and you don't have to either have lived the 'hood life or be a snide, cynical whitey to like it.

And now, I leave it to the Godfather of Gangsta Rap to put it much, much, much more succinctly:

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ice Ice Baby

Check out these amazing pics of ice sculpting. This is the kind of thing you don't give a shit about until you're in your late twenties, and by then you're too jaded and cynical to have a crack at doing it yourself.

Where do you even go to learn shit like that? Kinda feels like a career path that's only open to people who live in Scandinavia.

EPL Wrap INCLUDING Arsenal!!!

Hopefully The Biz will get his shit together next week, but I wouldn't bet on it. Here's the rub in his absence....

The Gunners cruised to a 3-0 win over Newcastle (they need to get Mark Viduka's big Aussie ass out there).

Bolton 0-0 West Bromwich Albion. How can I express how little I give a shit?

Portsmouth put 3 past Everton, looks like Pompey are finding their feet in the new season after a lacklustre performance in the first 2 rounds.

Wigan smashed poor old Hull 5-0, although it's way too early to tell this isn't a great sign for Hull's prospects of staying up in the Premier League next season.

Middlesborough 2-1 Stoke. I haven't seen too much of Stoke but they seem to be doing ok. I'm tipping they'lll find a way to stay up.

Chelsea draw with Tottenham, showing the first signs of mortality this season. I didn't see much from the Spurs, at least they've gotten rid of Berbatov and can now move on to another season of baseless high hopes and hilariously bad results.

Roy Keane's Sunderland got pumped by Manchester City, 3-0. Man City will do well but not well enough, even with outstanding new signing Robhino.

Aston Villa 0-0 Liverpool. Great result for all sorts of reasons, not least of which is that the on-again-off-again transfer of Villa's Barry to Anfield fizzled out and left a bad taste in EVERYBODY'S mouth. Liverpool are the most overrated team ever. EVER.

Man of The Hour

If Putin doesn't make the front cover of TIME this year, it's a fix (no disrespect to the homie President Obama).

To paraphrase Seinfeld, Putin's not just a man - he's a man's man. From Chechnya to the Far Eastern forests, this bad-ass Boris has laid the smack down as the head of the Russian state and left a legacy of middle fingering the West just enough to get US knickers in a knot, but not so much that member states of the EU have had to choose sides. Now he's pulling the strings from the Prime Minister's seat, and the people (especially the young people) in Russia seem to love him.

I'm not down with his suppression of dissident views (the Litvenenko poisoning was particularly disturbing - they went all the way to the UK to get him?) and now this has happened.

I don't know why people get all reactionary and starting bandying around terms like 'New Cold War,' the emergence of the new rich in Russia seems to suggest that capitalism is entrenched, so how is the present situation analogous to the old battle of ideologies? This is a whole other thing going on now, with Putin. Who knows how it will end?

Seriously though, he's a bit of a psychopath. I mean, would you shoot a tiger?

Progressive Trend in Transaction-Based Manual Stimulation ?

There was no suitable picture I could add to this post, so you'll have to use your imagination when you read this.

Western culture is just great, isn't it?

Perhaps we shouldn't be applauding the fact that women are now joining the hordes of men who feel so alienated by the numbing, disconnected maze of isolation that they bypass human connection and go straight for the money shot. Or maybe we should. I don't give a shit.

As the article itself suggests, it's all a matter of perspective. It's a fine line between bitching to your friends over a glass of Pinot about that sleazy remedial massage therapist with the wandering hands, and slipping some cut masseuse called Eufemio 50 Euros at the Hotel in Pamplona on your Iberian holiday just because you're momentarily overcome by an 'empowering' cocktail of sangria and imodium.

The Biz is slacking, Robinho's nuts

So it looks like I'll be doing the EPL wrap this week (which means the mighty Gunners will get a look in again), The Biz is in training for The Stool Gift, which you'll learn more about in the coming weeks.

It's starting to look like you'll be hearing more about Arsenal than I had planned, seeing as I'm doing the first couple of EPL wraps myself, but we'll see if The Biz gets on his grind at some point. I'll post the wrap later, this is just a quick WTF post about Brazilian wonder kid Robinho signing for MANCHESTER FUCKING CITY!

After all the hype about him going to Chelsea, Man City snuck in literally minutes before the transfer window closed. Given the comments of Real Madrid's head honcho, it seems that this deal was more about pissing off Chelsea than doing right by the player.

Whatever, it's all pretty funny. This supremely gifted little Samba king commanded 32.5 million POUND STERLING. Now watch him bust as he struggles to integrate his insanely exquisite finesse game into the million-miles-an-hour rough and tumble of the Premier League.

Try busting out your Joga Bonito on a cold, rainy January day at Ewood Park when Aussie Vincenzo Grella is having at your shins and all you really want to do is party with those twins from Maracaibo that you picked up at Mardi Gras.