Monday, December 29, 2008

Obligatory End of Year Rap Wrap

I hate these end of year shits, but I've been slacking the fuck off this festive season and to be honest I couldn't think of anything else that would snap the lazy streak. So here goes (in no order whatsoever):

My man Tek put me on to The Only Colour That Matters Is Green, Pacewon's new record. It's excellent, no attempts at nuance or trend-setting just ridiculously solid raps over intentionally simple, but impactful, production.

Ice Cube Raw Footage was sick. TI's Paper Trail and Luda's Theatre Of The Mind were pretty good.

Nas' Hero was probably my favourite single song of the year, along with Jack In The Box off previously mentioned Cube album.

Q Tip and Devin The Dude both came through with their respective LPs.

Old school joints I only just got put on to this year include:
- Shuggie Otis Inspiration Information
- Terry Callier What Color Is Love

You need to get both of those. Unbelievable late 70s soul.

I continued to write mountains of songs that will get recorded at some point. Who knows, maybe they'll (gasp!) actually get released at some point as well?!?!?!! Not possible, right?

All jokes aside, 2009 will finally bring an end to my half-self-enforced, half-dictated-by-circumstance hiatus.

There was heaps more good shit going on musically in '08 but I can't be fucked running it down in detail for y'all (you were there, you heard it all too). I'm going to get a pint with The Biz.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Like Waking Up to Dice Every Day

So now you can get a clock that tells you the time and then abuses you.

Pretty excellent, right? Except it's called The Super Electrofluorescent Profanity Machine, which is not really excellent at all. So it kind of loses points.

The Nazis Had Pieces of Flair They Used To Make The Jews Wear

Don't read this if you're having a fragile day where you already fear for, as Eric Bogle put it, "Man's blind indifference to his fellow man."

Replicating one of the most controversial behavioral experiments in history, a Santa Clara University psychologist has found that people will follow orders from an authority figure to administer what they believe are painful electric shocks.

More than two-thirds of volunteers in the research study had to be stopped from administering 150 volt shocks of electricity, despite hearing a person's cries of pain, professor Jerry M. Burger concluded in a study published in the January issue of the journal American Psychologist.

People are shit. No surprise though - the yanks voted George Dubya in for a second term back in '04, what more proof do you need?

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

If you didn't answer 'The Scorpion Queen,' then you lose.

There's some funny stuff in this brief little article, but here's the kicker:

In 2006 Kanchana hit the headlines when she married the country's so-called "Centipede King".

The Scorpion Queen is exotic, edgy, hot. I'm guessing The Centipede King, not so much. It's like this every day in Thailand.

Scientists Build Neonatal Incubator From Car Parts

Another blatant jack from slashdot, which in turn is a straight jack from elsewhere (actually, that pretty much describes every blogs ever made, really).

Peace Corps Online writes "The NYTimes ran a story this week about a group of scientists who have built a neonatal incubator out of automobile parts, including a pair of headlights as a heat source, a car door alarm to signal emergencies, and an auto air filter and fan to provide climate control. The creators of the car-parts incubator say that an incubator found in any neonatal intensive care unit in the US could cost around $40,000, but the incubator they have developed can be built for less than $1,000. One expert says as many as 1.8 million infants might be spared every year if they could spend just a week in the units, which help babies who are born early or at low birth weights regulate their body temperature until their organs fully develop. Experts say in developing countries where infant mortality is most common, high-tech machines donated by richer nations often conk out when the electricity fizzles or is restricted to conserve power. 'The future medical technologists in the developing world,' says Robert Malkin, director of Engineering World Health, 'are the current car mechanics, HVAC repairmen, bicycle shop repairmen. There is no other good source of technology-savvy individuals to take up the future of medical device repair and maintenance.'"

Monday, December 22, 2008

A Man and A Donkey In Bethlehem

Don't get your hopes up, all you sickies with visions of animal husbandry. I'm talking about BBC correspondent Aleem Maqbool's trek from Nazareth to Bethlehem with his trusty mule.

"Why are you standing there with a donkey?" said an old Palestinian man.

"This is a nice modern city, and you're standing there with a donkey! What are you trying to say? What's wrong with you?"

I'm glad people do stuff like this, and it's an increasing source of concern and disappointment to me that I cannot presently count myself as one of them.

Taylor Negron: Is There Anyone Cooler?

If you've seen The Aristocrats then you know that Taylor Negron is not merely some ubiquitous character actor. He is a genius, and this proves it.

Listen to Taylor exist in day to day modern america raising his kid, doing his podcast show and supporting the transgendered community.

Repeat, Genius.

Al Capone Taking His Kids To a Ball Game

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Cooking With Christopher Walken

This is just way, way too cool. No commentary needed really, just make sure you watch it all the way through because his sign-off is majestic.

Mixed Emotions Over Marbury

As you must surely know by now, I am a long suffering Knicks fan who has grown weary of the 'will they/won't they' Stephon Marbury issue. They won't buy his contract out, they can't trade him, and they refuse to play him. Now he's doing cool shit like buying tickets to their road games in LA and watching from courtside.

Marbury, in town to attend to his residence there and conduct some business, bought a ticket for the Knicks-Lakers game and had a baseline, courtside seat near film director Spike Lee.

According to the reports in the New York media, Marbury did more talking on his cell phone than he did observing the game, which the Lakers won 116-114.

I've gotta admit, I like his style there. It's so deliciously offbeat. But I still hate the distraction that he has become.

Socceroos On The Come Up

The only national team I care about is our football team. In fact, one of the few times I'm conscious of being Australian is when I'm cheering our lads on in 'the beautiful game.' Fuck cricket. Fuck swimming. Fuck rugby.

So it's exciting to see that Australia's finest have attained a FIFA world ranking of 28, the highest that they have ever achieved.

The Socceroos played 13 matches in 2008, managing eight wins, three draws and two losses.

Their best performances included two big wins over Qatar, a shock 2-1 friendly win over the Netherlands in September and gutsy away wins over Iraq and Uzbekistan.

Next up is Japan in Sydney in February. If we win that, we're going to the next World Cup for sure.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ever Wondered What Your Name Would Be If You Were a Gangster?

If so, simply follow this link. And the Jim Cagney thing above? I dunno. You just need to see it. And he's responsible for the greatest film portrayals of gangsters of all time.

Hold The Pause

See below for context (such that there is). Actually, maybe don't. Just watch.

Pause For Appreciation: George Best

It's about that time, some blind hero worship of one of my favourite human beings of all time. I thought I'd post this exquisite goal that he crafted (like the artisans of yore) whilst playing in the admittedly lesser MLS (American Soccer League). Then I found the clip that I've posted above, and I thought it nicely rounded out why I love the dude so much. Enjoy.

Mekong: The New Galapagos?

Apparently they're finding shit loads of new species all around the Mekong, including this sleek green fellow you see above.

Scientists say finding so many species, such as the Gekko scientiadventura, suggests that many more creatures are still to be described in the region, which covers Cambodia, Laos, Burma, Thailand, Vietnam and China's Yunnan province.

Monday, December 15, 2008

ABC, easy as B*&ch F*&k A$$ D Boy Pimp, Punk Mothaf*%ka

I don't know why but this reminds me of Kid'n'Play for some reason.

Flocabulary uses the educational power of hip-hop music to foster literacy and promote academic success in the classroom and beyond. Through a range of multimedia products and live performance programs, we bring our concept of music and learning to students and teachers worldwide.

Outstanding. Take a look at the titles of some of the text books. My personal favourite is Shakespeare is Hip Hop.

ORIGINAL SHAKESPEARE…RAPPED: The CD includes original Shakespearian lyrics rapped, as well as lively modern interpretations and classically performed monologues.

Honourable mention to The Rappers Handbook. I'll be buying myself a copy for Christmas.

NYC Everything

Next time you're in The Big Apple, forget about Times Square, the Statue of Liberty, and Ground Zero. If you want a really bizarre experience that doesn't feel like you're living out someone else's happy snaps, check this out.

Nonsense NYC is a discriminating resource for independent art, weird events, strange happenings, unique parties, and senseless culture in New York City.

We send out an email every Thursday or Friday about unique events occurring the following week.

Street events, loft parties, puppet shows, bike rallys, costume balls, interactive art shows, movies in unusual places, parades, outlaw dancing, guerilla theater, burlesque and variety shows, loser open mikes, cirkuses, and absurdist pranks. Nonsense covers the stuff that has no name, or a name that you feel really awkward and self-conscious saying out loud, like "underground."

Cool. I can't add anything to that.

Sunday, December 14, 2008


Those wacky Mexicans are at it again. The South of The Border version of Playboy ran a front cover of a nude Virgin Mary look-a-like.

Raul Sayrols, publisher of Playboy Mexico, said in a statement, "The image is not and never was intended to portray the Virgin of Guadalupe or any other religious figure. The intent was to reflect a Renaissance-like mood on the cover."

I've never been to Mexico, but it sounds like the kind of place for a 'Renaissance-like mood.'

Help The Poor Out Before The Fat Cats? Now You're Being Ridiculous

Who the fuck does this guy think he is? That's high treason. Hell, it's damn near blaspehmy.

I'm Sorry Dwight - No Props Necessary

I love Dwight Howard, and I totally dugg his Superman schtick last year, but this is how it should be does....

Thursday, December 11, 2008

It's a Fine Line

You know when I see a headline like 'Geniuses Who Were Actually Crazy,' I'm gonna link to it.

Newton would often be found immobile in his bed having forgotten to get out as he was too busy having "thoughts".

When you choose to immerse yourself in obtuse mathematical concepts for your entire life, and you come up in an era where men are identified by their matted, flowing wigs, that's the price you pay.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Einstein Just Keeps Getting Smarter

You may be wondering why I've posted a pic of Kobe "When I'm in Colorado, it's mine & I'm taking it" Bryant, when this post is about Einstein's theory of relativity. I'll get to that. First, astronomers think they may have found proof of the existence of black holes.

While the black hole itself is invisible to the eye, the team proved its existence by tracking the motions of 28 stars circling around it.

Just as swirling leaves caught in a gust of wind can provide clues about air currents, so the stars' movements reveal information about forces at work at the galactic centre.

The observations show that the stars orbit a central concentration of mass four million times greater than that of the Sun, claim the team from the Max-Planck Institute for Extraterrestrial Physics in Garching, near Munich, Germany.

Yeah, that's cool and stuff. Now, onto the more important part. When I was a kid playing basketball, my old man used to drive me all over the state to watch me play and he had some great observations about the differing personality types one could observe in both the kids I played with and their parents. On pretty much every team I ever played with, there was a kid who's parents had told him he was special a few too many times, and he just wouldn't pass the ball no matter what.

I remember dad saying to me as we drove home from many of my games, "That kid's a black hole. You give it to him and you never see it back again."

Whattup, Kobe?

Half Of What You See, None Of What You Hear (except my music)

Here's an interesting look back at manipulation of photographs through the ages. It's been going on longer than you think.

Special mentions go to the snap of French president Nicholas Sarkozy 'messing around in boats' (if you know where that comes from, holla in the comments), simply coz I love that dude's personal style (not very keen on his politics though), and also the one of Reagan shedding a tear (see Murphy, Eddie for instruction on Reaganomics).

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Men Of The Hour: David Lee and Chris Duhon

Screw Allen Iverson, little Chris Duhon was the answer as The Knicks smashed the Pistons.

Chris Duhon had 25 points and nine assists, Quentin Richardson scored 23 points, and the New York Knicks blew most of a 29-point lead before holding off the Pistons 104-92 to snap a three-game losing streak.

My favourite white boy in the league, David Lee, had 12 points and a massive 19 rebounds.

The Knicks improve to 9-11, a few games worse off than they would've been if they stuck with big Zach and Jamal Crawford. But what are you gonna do?

My 'Hood

There's a couple of reasons why I needed to post this. Firstly, it's cool freakish basketball shit. And secondly, a large portion of it is filmed at Knox basketball stadium and other stadiums around East MEL where I came up playing for Knox and then Kilsyth.

Boronia, represent.

Geeks Could've Stopped The Nazis?

From Slashdot:

There can be little doubt that the internet has changed everyday life for the better, but Nobel literature prize winner Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clezio has upped the ante by saying an earlier introduction of information technology could even have prevented World War II. "Who knows, if the Internet had existed at the time, perhaps Hitler's criminal plot would not have succeeded — ridicule might have prevented it from ever seeing the light of day," he said. I have to agree with him. If England had been able to send a "Stop Hitler Now!" petition to 10 friendly countries, those countries could have each sent it to 10 more friendly countries before the invasion of Poland, and one of history's greatest tragedies might have been averted.

Hmm, let me see.... While I certainly agree that the internet would've supplied ridicule in spades, I find it hard to believe that the ridicule dispensers (fat, nerdy folks like the comic book store guy from The Simpsons) would've contributed in any meaningful way to the demise of Hitler. Tough to imagine Churchill calling on net nerds for D-Day. Unless he had a Twitter account, of course.

It's a little disturbing that a Nobel literature prize winner floated this idea.

Monday, December 8, 2008

SNL Strikes Again.

I've had a bit of a hectic day, so this post is it. But, as the late great Dean Martin said, "This is a goodie."

Thanks must go to Krispy, for the assist.

What with Meadow Soprano (I can't bring myself to call her Jamie Lynn-Sigler, she'll always be Meadow to me) guest starring on Entourage as a sex-crazed starlet, and now appearing in this, there's definitely a positive force somewhere in the world. Which is a small comfort, because right now things are feeling a bit like the South Park episode where they trash the Family Guy:

"None of the jokes are derived from the plot."


Sunday, December 7, 2008

Tough Little Bastards

Somewhere in North Melbourne, tomorrow's loan sharks, thugs and standover men are getting a head start.

Four prep grade students (6 year olds) have been suspended after ganging up on a student about twice their age, wrestling their victim to the ground and beating him while he lay there.

That's how we breed 'em here in MEL.

Are Times This Tough Yet?

This photograph came to embody the Great Depression, and the little girl nuzzled into her mother's shoulder is still alive. She talks about her life and the conditions of the time here.

McIntosh is the girl to the left of her mother when you look at the photograph. The picture is best known as "Migrant Mother," a black-and-white photo taken in February or March 1936 by Dorothea Lange of Florence Owens Thompson, then 32, and her children.

Yo! Bum Rush The Movie Theatre

If you're in Melbourne, go check out this documentary about PE.

"If Malcolm X had a hip-hop group, that would be it," notes Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello, one of several enthusiastic talking heads who profess their admiration. But the documentary's real insight comes with the fly-on-the-wall dissection of the relationship between Public Enemy's two distinct rappers: political activist Chuck D (Carlton Ridenhour) and now reality show host Flavor Flav (William Drayton jr).

I've got a personal anecdote about sharing the stage with Flavor Flav a few years back, but I'll save that for a day when I can't think of anything else to post.

And The Grammy Goes To.....

I saw that Nas made the short list for Rap Album of the year. I think we all know that he won't win (it's gonna be Wayne, surely), but it's fun to fantasize. Imagine his acceptance speech (for those of you who don't know, Nas released an album this year that was officially untitled because his record label would not release it under the name he wanted - Nigger).

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Reason # 324, 298, 564 Why TWNR

Now this isn't the first 2 Live Crew song I ever heard, but it's slightly more socially acceptable (so some of you other Rap fiends who were exposed to inappropriate music at a pre-teen age will know which song I'm talking about).

Nevertheless, classic.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Once Again... The Great Noam Chomsky

Any article entitled He Found the Innate Humanity of The Human Brain is bound to attract me, more so when it's about Noam Chomsky (of whom I am an unashamed fan).

His observations, which grew out of his opposition to the Vietnam War and, later, what he saw as the United States’ resorting to violence and other forms of coercion and domination abroad, thrust him into the spotlight and have made him one of the top pundits and gadflies of the day.

Come on, I wanna be a gadfly. What do I have to do?

One reason for Chomsky’s enormous influence in both the “hard” and social sciences may be his willingness to share ideas and his embrace of open debate. “I don’t want any followers,” Chomsky once told an interviewer. “My message, especially to students, is that they shouldn’t be following anyone.”

Noam Chomsky stands in the tradition of the great Enlightenment thinkers who combined a sweeping intellectual vision with meticulous technical analyses. He revived a rationalist conception of human nature in which the mind is richly endowed with creative powers at a time when behaviorism ruled and “innate” was a dirty word.

Oh, that's what you have to do? Oh well, back to rapping I suppose...

Reason # 312 Why TWNR

PLEASE DO NOT GLOSS OVER THIS POST AND CRACK A WRY SMILE OVER THE PIC OF THE EVIL MUPPETS FROM SESAME STREET! You HAVE to watch these video clip mash-ups of hardcore rap songs set to children's programs. Epecially the Bert and Ernie/M.O.P. Ante Up mash-up. I laughed my ass off.

Ayo (Technology)

This is from slashdot:

"Vascular surgeon David Nott performed a life-saving amputation on a boy in DR Congo following instructions sent by text message from a colleague in London. The boy's left arm had been ripped off and was badly infected and gangrenous; there were just 6in (15cm) of the boy's arm remaining, much of the surrounding muscle had died and there was little skin to fold over the wound. 'He had about two or three days to live when I saw him,' Nott said. Nott, volunteering with the medical charity Medecins Sans Frontieres, knew he needed to perform a forequarter amputation requiring removal of the collar bone and shoulder blade and contacted Professor Meirion Thomas at London's Royal Marsden Hospital, who had performed the operation before. 'I texted him and he texted back step by step instructions on how to do it,' Nott said."

I can't even follow phone instructions from my girlfriend on where she left her iPod charger, and that's with both of us speaking to each other and getting incrementally frustrated. So lifesaving surgery via sms is blowing my mind right now.

Do The Right Thing

If you're in MEL, go see Focus On Spike Lee at ACMI (Federation Square).

In December, ACMI opens Focus on Spike Lee, a career survey of the provocative, powerhouse filmmaker. The season will open with Lee's break-out hit, Do The Right Thing (1989), which Lee penned, earning a nomination for Best Original Screenplay Oscar and sealing his reputation as a socially engaged filmmaker.

Whilst Do The Right Thing heralded him as the new kid on the block, I have to confess it isn't anywhere near my favourite Spike Lee movie. Malcolm X was excellent (Denzel Washington became the character in a way that was rarely seen between that movie and Jamie Foxx's turn as Ray Charles), and Mo' Better Blues is one of my favourite movies period (being scored by Branford Marsalis never hurts!).

More recently (and moving away from African-American-centric themes), I loved 25th Hour with Ed Norton.

Anyway, go see Do The Right Thing so you can at least familiarise yourself with Radio Raheem.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Grand Sale, Grand Sale, Grand Sale

To round out this video clip orientated gaggle of posts, the west Melbourne (Footscray to be exact) legend, Franco Cozzo.

There's the classic clip of his ad (if you grew up in Melbourne in the Eighties or Nineties then you love this cat), but furthermore I found a reference to him and his furniture business on this awesomely titled blog

I believe he was implicated in some kind of drug importation scandal, but I don't think he saw any prison time, and his gaudy furniture is still getting pumped out, so that's a victory for him.

Megalo, Megalo, Megalo.

Got a Spare 10 Minutes? Feel Like Having Your Brain Fried?

This came to me by way of The Kid. It's a bit of a mind bender but ultimately very cool.

The World Cup of Philosophy

I'm definitely not one of those Monty Python acolytes. But when they were right, they were right. This shit is hilarious.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Ben Ong Supplies The Heat

My man Benny Ong (who's email address is 'bong@*******.com') emailed me this today. I had never heard of this kid from UCLA, but I don't care if he never does anything again. This is so incredibly vicious.

Like What You Like And Be Proud Of It

I was cruising around the net checking out designer T Shirt sites (that I won't name, because this post isn't about that), and I found myself feeling a little disappointed that all the T Shirts I seemed to like were the ones that were sold out ("that one looks cool, but it's sold out, so everyone must have it, so I don't want it anymore"). Then I read a review of Billy Joel's recent show here in Melbourne that suggested that it's "not supposed to be cool to know the words to Billy Joel songs," and I decided we all need to stop being cool and just like what we like.

As regards the T Shirt bizzo (and fashion items in general), everyone's got everything already anyway. There's no individuality left in what you wear. Anyone who is still extrapolating personality from fashion is a fuckhead. The only way to be truly individual (in a fashion sense) would be to walk around completely naked all the time. No one else in the history of mankind has ever had or will ever have a body exactly like yours. But that, for the most part, would just be gross. So don't do that. There are more important things in life than individuality.

So you see, we've all got access to that bourgie little boutique store that makes you feel unique by virtue of the fact that you shop there, and we all have access to that quirky T Shirt you just bid on on eBay.

But why let that stop you from continuing to shop there, or refusing to be outbid?

Monday, December 1, 2008

And While We're In That Part Of The World

Check out this slide show of pics from a Tattoo Body Art exhibition in Budapest, Hungary.

Bulgaria Strikes It (culturally) Rich Again

What the fuck is it with Bulgaria and all these artifacts? Last week it was a chariot, now it's a prehistoric canoe that they've dug up.

The vessel was discovered by fishermen trailing nets along the sea bottom some 15 miles off the coast, said Dimitar Nedkov, head of the Archaeological Museum in the port city of Sozopol.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Fucking Bulgarians.

Pretty cool though.

A Break From Monotony? Pleasure? The Woman Craves Not These Things

According to some bullshit, psychology-by-numbers study that's covered in this article, women are less likely to cheat than men because it's all about nesting and keeping a sperm tributary at hand in case you want more rug rats, or just to make sure the little tykes have a daddy. That is, of course, until a woman reaches 30 and, gasp! (hasn't gotten married yet).

But if they do stray it's more likely to be when they enter their 30s as their biological clock starts ticking.

It couldn't be that they get bored, like men in their Thirties, or that they are more comfortable and confident in their own skin, like men in their Thirties, or that they enjoy the pleasure of sex, like men in their Thirties?

The research appears to be backed up by high profile marriage break ups. Miss Beckinsale, the British actress left her Welsh husband Michael Sheen after an affair when she was 30.

Well, that's it settled then. Time's ticking ladies. Have a baby or become a whore.

I'm Still Down With RVP

Robin Van Persie is the motherfuckin' man. His two goals in the win against Premier League title favourites Chelsea have gotten Arsenal's campaign back on track (until they lose to one of the lesser lights again, probably next week).

"Who's down with RVP?"

Yeah, you know me. And don't believe the hype about his first goal being offside. That's only legit if you recognise the offside rule. Coz if you do, it was totally offside.

Don't Be a Shvontz, Check This Out And You'll Plotz

This is an audio slide show about how Yiddish has influenced New York jazz, complete with cool image slide show and great comparison between a traditional Jewish folk song about a tailor, and the great Cab Calloway's remake/interpretation of it.

Great stuff. Watch it for the images, listen for the info, remember it for Cab Calloway.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

It's Easy When You Live With Them

Here's an interesting little piece on why it's so difficult to spot the alleged 3-4% of the population who are sociopaths.

Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless. You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodedness. The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience that they seldom even guess at your condition.

Say what you want about Sociopaths, but life would be a lot more boring without them. No mob movies. No tough guys pushing around ticket inspectors on public transport. No Mark Latham.

Not to mention The Biz and The Kid.

Ethical Killing Machines

Finally. Some progress on the 'robot army hordes' front.

"The New York Times reports on research to develop autonomous battlefield robots that would 'behave more ethically in the battlefield than humans.' The researchers claim that these real-life terminators 'can be designed without an instinct for self-preservation and, as a result, no tendency to lash out in fear. They can be built without anger or recklessness ... and they can be made invulnerable to ... "scenario fulfillment," which causes people to absorb new information more easily if it agrees with their pre-existing ideas.' Based on a recent report stating that 'fewer than half of soldiers and marines serving in Iraq said that noncombatants should be treated with dignity and respect, and 17 percent said all civilians should be treated as insurgents,' this might not be all that dumb an idea."

Haven't there been soldiers without an instinct for self-preservation kicking around for, I dunno, forever? But it would be nice to have soldiers who don't rape civillians for a change.

Gimme a Smoke Or I'll Stab Ya

Growing up on the mean streets of Boronia, I learned that any type of verbal communication at the train station was tantamount to an open declaration of war. So if you're smoking a cigarette at Boronia train station, and someone asks you for a cigarette, you better give them one.

Police allege the Boronia man was threatened when he refused to give the group a cigarette and chased him when he tried to flee.

He was punched in the face by the man and stabbed in the stomach by one of the women, a police spokeswoman said.

The man was taken to hospital with non life-threatening injuries.

It's like this every day in Boronia.

I'm a Thief

I just got back from the grocery store, for the second time today. You know how that makes me feel? Happy, surprisingly. Normally, I can hardly handle one trip a week, but today something cool happened.

I went to the store near my place first, doing my 'weekly grocery shop.' Then my girl called to say she was bunkered down studying and could I pick her up some stuff. In my mind I thought, "someone is peeing on my ear lobe," but because I am THE fucking boyfriend, I sucked it up and made the second trip for her.

I got the shit, paid, and left without too much fan fare. Wasn't till I got back to my girl's place I realised I'd taken someone else's bags as well as mine. Hello free punnets of strawberries, and a shit load of nectarines.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pause To Appreciate Dennis Rodman

Dennis Rodman is the shining light on this list of Hot Headed athletes.

Honourable mentions to Latrell Sprewell (who has said that if his teammates didn't pull him off of his coach, he would've strangled him to death), and Pacman Jones (just look at the picture of him, it speaks for itself).

This Is Just Nuts

I was put onto this by a friend, it's a testicle cook book. You never know when you're going to need to know how to make testicle pizza.

No Kool Keith?

I guess they didn't know if they should call him Dr. Octagon or one of his other names. That's the only reason I can think of that he didn't make this list of most bizarre MCs.

They are truly a bunch of whack jobs, but come on man. Keith is out there.

I Can't Wait To See This On My Way To The Celtic Club

If you live in Melbourne, you need to check out La Trobe Street. Apparently there's a giant billboard of a woman in a full body bunny outfit, putting a different spin on the Playboy thing.

The artist's name is Polly Borland, but it's really all about the guy who commissioned it (if this description is anything to go by):

DAVID Walsh, private collector, professional gambler and agent provocateur, has unveiled his latest artistic offering to Melbourne at the Republic Tower on La Trobe Street.

If The Biz becomes a private collector, he will be on the verge of being this guy.

Donnie Dumbo

The Knicks are getting absolutely reamed by the Cavs at half time 38-67. In New York. In Madison Square Garden. Spike Lee must be having a coronary.

I am so fucking mad at Donnie Walsh right now. I have been looking into prices for getting a 'Bring Back Randolph & Crawford' T Shirt. I'm not lying.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I (Still) Wanna Be Like Mike

A timely reminder of why MJ was, is, and always will be, the motherfuckin' man. Kobe's amazingly skilled but looks like he's forcing it/trying too hard. LeBron is an awesome physical specimen with unparalleled athletic ability, but he doesn't have the focus or subtletly. Let's just call it now and say there'll never be a greater player, huh?

I'd Still Be Carried In a Chariot By Stampeding Horses

They've dug up an ancient chariot in Bulgaria. It's from the Second Century AD.

The bronze-plated wooden chariot is decorated with scenes from Thracian mythology, including figures of a jumping panther and the carving of a mythological animal with the body of a panther and the tail of a dolphin, Ignatov said.

Apparently the biggest challenge is stopping locals from looting the dig site.

Fucking Bulgarians.

The Famine: Officially Forgotten?

In the Republic of Ireland they have banned begging.

The really Irish part? Offenders can face fines of up to 700 Euros.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern said today the Government had approved the proposal, which would result in the first reform in begging laws since the Famine.

I'm really disappointed with this. The Irish have a history of sticking up for the down and out and empathising with the disenfranchised and persecuted (no doubt as a direct result of the centuries-long strangle hold England had on Ireland, as best personified by The Famine).

And 'professional beggars?' Please - if you're that dedicated to the streets then go ahead and make whatever you can. I ain't mad.

This Guy Is Certifiably Insane

But the world would be a better place if there were more people like him. He's written extensively, and explicitly, on the subject of The Camorra (the historic organised crime organisation based in Napoli), and he knows that in so doing he has signed his own death certificate.

Roberto Saviano's book Gomorrah, a biblical wordplay on the hell the Camorra visits on the Campania region, has been made into a widely acclaimed film.

It might have made business more difficult for the Camorra, but there could also be another reason why the bosses hate it so much they have vowed to kill Saviano "by Christmas".

Saviano has aimed at debunking the 'glamour' myth that shadowy organisations like the Camorra use as PR to recruit new members from the Godfather generation.

He says he is resigned to the fact that the Camorra will 'take it's revenge.'

Kind of makes you wonder if you've got the gumption, eh?

What The Drilly With That Though, It Ain't Banging

If you don't know what the post title means then you've never heard Quiet Storm. And I hate you. But really, if you like Rap music then you'll appreciate my revisiting this classic that could quite possibly be the last categorically sick shit that Mobb Deep did before Jay Z started immasculating them. Me and The Biz were discussing how spazzy this shit is the other night.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Paddy Tanniger The Caddy Manager

Yeah, I posted a Family Guy sound byte. Big whoop, you wanna fight about it?

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

If you've seen The Sopranos, or A Bronx Tale, you might recognise this fucking idiot who decided to go from a Reel Tough Guy to a Real Tough Guy.

He is alleged to have been involved in a robbery in search of prescription drugs, in which his alleged accomplice, Steven Armento, shot the officer.

The off-duty cop died, so it's a murder rap.

As fucked up as this is, he's definitely not the first cat to let it get to his head. Tupac, anyone?

Read This Blog (Just Slightly Less Frequently Than You Read Mine)

The blog is called worldlustitude and it is a series of delightfully absurd made-up words that should exist but don't. Or haven't, until now.

Excellent, excellent work.

Thanks to The Kid for referring.

Why Do They Call This Animal a Urine Monkey?

Pretty soon, astronauts are gonna be drinking their own piss.

Among the ship's cargo is a water regeneration system that distills, filters, ionizes, and oxidizes wastewater — including urine — into fresh water for drinking or, as one astronaut puts it, 'will make yesterday's coffee into today's coffee.'

That. Is. Brilliant.

That astronaut's talent is wasted.

Please Sir, Can I Have Some Wrongful Imprisonment?

This ain't America is it? George Dubya's 'Good Time Boys' government has admitted they've been locking up kiddies at Guantanamo.

"The U.S. has revised its count of juveniles ever held at Guantanamo Bay to 12, up from the eight it reported in May to the United Nations, a Pentagon spokesman said Sunday."

Things have gotten nice and Dickensian under that idiot-fuck Bush, except instead of Oliver saying, "Please sir, can I have s'more?" it's little Abdullah saying, "Please, Infidel, can you remove the electrodes from my gonads?"

Most Overused Samples in Hip Hop History

I'm generally not one of those cats who tries to stay right up to the latest with my posts, I just write about whatever's running through my sick and twisted head at the time, but I'm gonna have to apologise in advance for being late with most of these posts.

I found this list of the most overused samples in Rap last week.

Tough to argue with their choice for the top spot. I mean, who hasn't jacked the Impeach The President drums at some point?

I'm Back. Again.

So another week without my laptop (those crackheads who broke into my girl's place last year are really impacting my day to day), and I feel a little sheepish about posting again.

I mean, Arsenal lost to Manchester City and are having their worst season in 15 years, Donnie Walsh has decided that he doesn't care about The Knicks' hot start to the season (trading their best 2 players Zach Randolph and Jamal Crawford to maybe be able to get LeBron next year), and I ate so much animal flesh at an Argentine restaurant on Friday night that it's gastrointestinal gridlock for the foreseeable future.

At least Glasgow Celtic FC got in done against St. Mirren (take that, Biz).

And in other good news, I'm thinking about changing my rap name to Stacks McHale. But only if I become extremely wealthy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Andrew Nougat? Nugget? Bogard? Nogutt?

I was looking for footage of KG mushin' Andrew Bogut in the face the other night, but I couldn't find it. So I posted the infamous "Nobody liked Bogut, even on his own team, so he deals with it in the most passive aggressive manner possible" high-fives to himself move.

But the KG shit is pretty funny.

The NBA announced on Monday that the All-Star forward will be suspended for one game for hitting Milwaukee Bucks center Andrew Bogut in the face on Saturday."

Fat Kids Can't Hunt

Believe it or not, that was the title of a proposed reality TV show in Britain a while back. The pitch? A bunch of, umm, fat kids would be sent to a deserted island and those who were too fat or lazy to catch their own food would be sent home. Dunno what the winner was gonna get, but it never got made. Unfortunately.

Anyway, the Nanny State is gonna ban sweeties in schools.

Education Minister Bronwyn Pike said yesterday: "With alarming statistics showing almost one-quarter of children aged two to 16 years are overweight or obese, it is vital that we work together to reinforce the healthy living message."

When I was in school, only the rich over-fed kids had the cash to buy candy and risk obesity, but we had a great nutritional index to balance everything out - bullies. The bullies would shake down the rich nancies about half the time, so this maintained the natural order of things and stopped Little Lord Fauntleroy from turning into a fat bastard. The only problem was, not infrequently the bullies themselves were kinda fat. Still, maybe instead of less sugar we need more Nelson Muntz. I'll mention it to Mrs. Bronwyn Pike next time I see her.....

And Now, Resuming Normal Programming

I saw this movie when it premiered at the Film Festival earlier this year, and it's sick. Literally.

"The result is one of the year's best films, an extraordinarily measured examination of life inside Belfast's Maze prison where, in 1981, 10 members of the Irish Republican Army died from hunger strikes that gripped the outside world but couldn't sway Margaret Thatcher's British government. Punctuated by bloody, institutionalised violence, Hunger is an examination of the body as a weapon of last resort."

My obvious Republican sympathies aside, this is a great movie. It's out now in selected cinemas, and you need to see it. I mean, Gott Damm, if 'bloody, institutionalised violence' isn't a big enough draw card for you then go see it for the 'dirty protest' that the prisoners engage in which sees them smearing their own shit on the walls of their cells in curiously artistic patterns.

I Haven't Posted In a Week

And this picture sums up how I feel about that.

After a 14 hour drinking marathon at the Spanish Festival on Johnston Street on Saturday, my emotional state was that of the unattractive, jaundiced slug-type creature, desperately needing a comforting hug off someone... anyone.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Don't Pat The Panda

An Australian school girl got bitten by a panda in a zoo in China.

"We actually got to feed the pandas instead of cleaning up after them!," the (students') blog reads.

"The pandas seemed to enjoy their food which consisted of bamboo, carrots and panda cake. Most of us were able to scratch a baby panda’s back!"

However, the blog makes no mention of a student bitten by a panda."

Another smear campaign against Communist China.

Jazz Legend Kurt Elling Drops Jewels

And if you are interested in making music at all, you better listen.

"We all know the mentor/players of the past whose bands created and affected generations of great musicians and teachers. The Universities of Art Blakey, Horace Silver, Buddy Rich, Betty Carter, Maynard Ferguson, and so many others we revere all helped shape the present. But now we — you! — are the primary teachers. Some people bemoan the loss of the old context without acknowledging the great opportunity before us – to embrace our own time and to make the most of it. We have access to great gifts from the past, and we are charged with passing them on through our own hands.

We have to figure how to transmit this great past so that it empowers students — not to relive another generation’s past — but to articulate what it means for the students, themselves, to be alive, now. Not wishing they’d been born decades ago, when giants walked the earth. Worshipping the past is a trap that causes chronic pain among our people. We must be wary as teachers and performers of seeming to yearn too much for what’s gone. It makes audiences and our students devalue their present experiences and regret — rather than celebrate and challenge — the moment they were born into. If jazz is to be truly relevant to the future we must stop defining ourselves to such an extraordinary degree by our glorious past. The Buddha says, “If you meet the Buddha in the road, kill him and become Buddha yourself.”

Preach. Right on brother Kurt. If you substitute "music" for "jazz,"it stand up pretty well across the board.

First Things First

Get these two albums.

Q Tip The Renaissance, and........

Devin The Dude Landing Gear.

Obviously, being the ethical dude that I am, I can't post the zShare or Rapid Share rar files, but, you know.......

If you add these two gems to Ice Cube's Raw Footage, it's turning out to be quite a good year for the kind of Rap music that I like.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Yma Sumac Has Passed Away

"Who is she?" you ask. Well, she was a soprano singer with a four octave vocal range, which is incredibly rare.

"Such a range is so unusual because the human voice is very limited and we use only a small part of it. This makes it very difficult to expand the vocal range and articulate such high notes.

Exploiting the range we do have comes down to physical aspects, like body structure and the length of vocal cords, technique and psychological attitude."

And she was from Peru. I keep telling ya, Latin America is where all the fun stuff happens.

This Is BOGUS, man

The Mexican Walking Fish is endangered. But get your money right, and make sure you keep your mortgage payments up.

People Need to "Take it easy" When it Comes to Berlusconi

If this gets blown out of proportion, I'll be really pissed off. Berlusconi's a corrupt fuck, but when someone busts out something harmless, innocuous, and kinda funny like this, the PC wimps need to just let it dangle.

Basically, he mentioned that Obama has an even tan. Of his off-the-cuff remark, he commented:

"Why are they taking it as something negative? ... If they have the vice of not having a sense of humour, worse for them."

Thems words to live by.

We're The Kings of Sunshine!!!

Ok, so this article isn't about Dino Dibra, or anyone from Sunshine for that matter. But it is a ripping yarn about some crazy fuck from Broadmeadows who ripped off a bunch of stupid investors to the tune of $7 Million by claiming to be an Arabian Prince.

"Omar Jihad Yusuf, 40, travelled the world, drove a Ferrari, bought a racehorse and enjoyed panoramic views from his corner office at 101 Collins Street until his fantasy world came crashing down following an Age investigation in late 2004.

On a website for "Yusuf Holdings", the self-styled prince falsely claimed he had interests in pharmaceuticals, oil, aviation, property and perfume with 6500 employees worldwide and an annual turnover of $US650 million."

So simple. So brilliant. And he'll probably avoid jail due to mental incapacity. Where can I sign up for narcissistic personality disorder?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Is There A Smith Street In Collingswood?

Come and live in Collingwood. I mean, go and live in Collingswood.
In New Jersey. Apparently it, "has become sought after not only because of its walkable downtown and accessible public transportation, but also for an eclectic housing stock and a diverse population."

On second thoughts, I'll just stick to the junkies, vagrants and derelicts on Smith Street. I don't want to live that close to Tony Soprano (obviously, Chopper Read is much better).

The Knicks So Far: So So

After closing out the game today against Charlotte (Zach Randolph is really stepping up since D'Antoni's what the fuck decision to bench Eddie Curry), The Knicks are now 2-2. If they stay around .500 for the whole season, that should get them to the playoffs - but that's a big if.

Just on that matter of D'Antoni DNP CDing (Did Not Play, Coach's Decision) Curry, what the fuck is going on with Stephon Marbury? GM Donnie Walsh, head coach D'Antoni, and the petulant little fuck Marbury himself all sat down recently to work out what was gonna happen (Was he going to play? Was he going to get traded?). And they decided.............nothing.

They're not gonna trade him. They're not gonna buy him out. They're not gonna play him. They're just gonna let him sit around practice and on the bench at games, sulking.

I'm not the biggest Marbury fan, I didn't rejoice when he came to New York, but God Damn! I know he's an erratic, temperamental prick who's derailed the Knicks' season on a number of occasions due to his selfish bullshit, but doesn't keeping him around to quietly seethe in the corner just poison the player group?

Either play him, or get rid of him. That's my opinion, anyway.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

"America, surprise us/And let a black man guide us" - Nas

Wow. It's very hard to know what to say at a time like this. I'm happy and hopeful, scared and cynical, all at the same time. Barrack Obama will be the first African American president in history.

As Ice Cube so eloquently put it, "Some of our folks used to hang from ropes." In less than 80 years we've gone from this:

To this:

Before I let my cynical nature take over (and it will, in the next few days), I just want to let this sink in. Regardless of his inexperience (see, it's creeping in already), Obama has energized the political process and engaged the younger generation in a way that no politician has in my lifetime (and arguably since John F. Kennedy).

If he achieves nothing more than encouraging African Americans specifically, and disenfranchised minorities generally, to get involved in politics because they can relate to this president much more than any of his predecessors, he will have performed an incredible service.

It's exciting to think that the biggest criticism I can think of right now is the fact that, when you expose Obama's relative inexperience, all you are left with is hope.

It's very affirming to have hope as a worst-case-scenario.

......... Actually, I've decided that this post is far too serious and earnest in tone, so I've included one more pic

Monday, November 3, 2008

Wow, Yao

And to round out this decidedly Asian-flavoured "school of posts" (patent pending), something completely ridiculous from the largest Chinaman in the world. I think. Although there are quite a few of them, so I can't prove that to a certainty....

It's Like This Every Day In Asia

Check out these awesome Asian movie posters.

Filling The Void With Pop Culture

The title of this post comes from my man El NiƱo, and I interpret it to mean that (apart from the vey enlightened and the very stupid) we all have a sense of profound lacking, or 'something missing' in our lives. Some of us (with varying levels of success) choose to fill this space up with meaningless pop culture stuff. We all do it from time to time, some more than others.

This hit home the other day when my girl mentioned that a few weeks ago she was bumping Ice Cube's "I Got My Locs On" (featuring Young Jeezy), but that it had a short shelf life for her. I started thinking about how The Roots laid this problem out in the intro to one of their earlier albums (I think it was Things Fall Apart???) years ago. "Hip Hop music is treated as disposable, it's potential is not even maximized in a commercial sense, let alone as art." Or something like that.

Hip Hop is on the cutting edge of consumerism. It always has been. But now it's at such an accelerated pace that it's not cool to dig something forever. Or for a whole year. Or a month, if you wanna be really cool. Remember how HOT Bathing Ape was a minute ago?

We can't just keep on consuming and discarding, consuming and discarding. Or, to speak more truthfully, we can but we risk losing any sense of artistic endeavour and meaning. The 'Ring Tone Rapper' generation don't know that they can have more, it's like Generation Y in reverse. It's crazy.

End transmission.


Yep, this is bellydancing. I think?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Be A Hater and Up Your IQ?

Apparently when you see someone you hate, you get smarter.

"British neuroscientists did fMRI brain scans of subjects while they looked at pictures of people they claimed to hate. As a baseline, they also showed them pictures of people they felt neutrally about. Not surprisingly, hatred activated the regions of the brain associated with aggression and the motor regions that would translate this aggression into action. And given that love often turns into hate, it's not too surprising that hatred also activates two brain regions, the putamen and the insula, associated with passionate, romantic love."

An interesting finding seems to be that the sense of hatred improves judgement and predictive ability.

I'm a little skeptical, because as much football as I watch, I should be some kind of Nostradamus after the amount of times I've seen Dirk Kuyt get Liverpool out of jail.

The World Needs Rappers...... To Keep The Fuck Out of Politics

A bunch of massively successful, trascending, iconic urban music folks have been so magnanimous as to jot down their thoughts on the US election so that we can bask once again in the after glow of their shining star as it burns past us.

"It ain't over, until it's over. There is still so much work to be done. The thrill of victory is just 1 week away. We hear it in the streets, we feel it in our hearts and it's burning in our souls."

Now, Jay Z in particular has done a lot of good work (through the United Nations) all over the globe in terms of promoting the need to conserve water etc. but at some point these fuckers have to realise that, basically, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

More Photos from "Do Anything For You" Film Clip Shoot

Me and J Wess in 1930s mode. I keep coming across photos from this shoot, I should probably post them all at once but I'm too lazy.

The single should be out before the end of the year. I've been writing a lot of solo stuff lately, so it won't be too hard for us to follow up J's album with my album. Time will tell if and when that will be though, music might be the first luxury to fall by the wayside when the revolution comes. It's all good, I'll be ready either way.