Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Pigs Are Flying

If you're from Melbourne, or you've spent any length of time here at all, you know that what we do best (aside from coffee, gangland whackings, AFL Grand Finals, rich & varied gourmand spots, Babalonian Friday night revelling - I could go on) is unpredictable weather.

So it was with great alarm and disgust that I flicked the TV on this morning to watch my cartoons (whilst slurping my soggy Sultana Bran) only to find out that for THE THIRD STRAIGHT DAY THE WEATHER WAS 'OVERNIGHT LOW OF 12 AND PREDICTED HIGH OF 18.' Even the ambiguous little graphic (Is it a sun peeking out from behind a grey cloud, or vice versa? Does a grey cloud, as opposed to a white one, denote thunder but no rain? If not, why do they then have a grey cloud with rain coming out of it, as well?) was exactly the same.

I'm all too easily bored and depressed by the quotidian as it is, my friends. I don't need the weather channel getting all Groundhog Day on me as well. Even worse, that's one less thing that we can talk about with people that we don't know very well, in awkward situations that demand at least token conversation. What am I gonna say if I get stuck in an elevator today with an acquaintance I don't have anything in common with? "The weather seems the same today." That's shit. Oh well, I guess I'll bring up the credit crunch, that's pretty evergreen.

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