Reason #13 Why TWNR

"Yo No Soy Ladron"

Ok, you're gonna have to trust me on this (unless your The Kid, who also speaks Spanish and can probably correct me in places) - this article from Spanish periodical El Pais details the story of two journalists from The New York Times who were actually onto the Watergate scandal before The Washington Post (who in fact broke the story) were aware of it.

...el diario The New York Times dejó escapar una de las exclusivas más célebres de todos los tiempos, y que aprovechó muy bien su competidor, The Washington Post: el caso Watergate, que le costaría la presidencia a Richard Nixon en 1974.

Los protagonistas de esa historia, ahora ex periodistas del Times, han contado en el diario cómo tuvieron primero la exclusiva y la dejaron escapar.

Basically, the journalists in question lost the file that their hot story was kept in. And they've kept their mouths shut about if for like 3 decades.

Commence conspiracy theories at will.....

J Wess Clip 'Do Anything For You' Feat. Digga & Jerson About To Hit The Box

Australia - Backward & Racist?

Mr Trujillo, who earned millions at the helm of the one-time taxpayer-owned telecommunications giant, cited what he described as "restrictive" historical immigration policies and "events over the past five or 10 years" that the report did not specify.

"I would say that Australia definitely is different [from] the US. In many ways it was like stepping back in time," he said in the interview, which was broadcast in part by ABC Radio this morning.

Now if you move past the obvious contradicion that the USA is one of the most historically racist countries in the world, where's the controversy in his statements? Think about what he's witnessed in his time here; Cronulla race riots, a sharp spike in racially motivated violent attacks, one Prime Minister who flat out ignored the native population, and another who was damn near beatified just for saying sorry to them without any real plan of action......

"And then the fat wog said to the skinny wog............"

Oh, and when the Australian Prime Minister heard Trujillo was leaving, what did he say? "Adios."

Fuckin' killer line, Kev!

Is Australia backward and racist? Nah, not for shit, bro.

The World Needs Rappers......... To Come Out Of The Closet

A few years ago, this cat right here (his name's Caushun, for the record) pinched his 15 minutes of fame on the behind by openly coming out as a gay rapper. Mind you, this was smack bang in the middle of swirling rumours that there was at least one reasonably well known MC who was queer as folk. Well, I just may have found the list.

Actually, it's a list of latent homosexual lyrics in rap. My personal favourite is N.E.R.D's "In case you haven't heard, we swallow guys."

Funny stuff.

I Dare You To Read This

Last night I stopped for a burger on the way home from playing ball, and felt compelled to order The Ultimate Double Whopper - largely because the ad ran something like, "Can you handle it?"

"F*&k yes," I thought.

So hats off to the (as Adam Sandler would say) ad wizards who thought of that one. You goaded me into it.

I was ordering something for wifey too, so I asked for the item off the menu that read Grilled Chicken Wrap.

"I'm sorry, the grilled chicken wrap is actually fried chicken," the burger slinger said.

Reminded me of the line from A Bronx Tale:

Chazz Palminteri "There are only two things to do in prison: lift weights, or get in trouble"

Punk kid "What did you do?"

Chazz Palminteri "I read."

Lying Is OK, And Hours Of Fun - Just Ask The Biz

My man The Biz is rapidly developing a tendency toward pathological lying (for his own amusement no less), so I thought he'd get a kick out of this article which absolves him from blame.

Small embellishments can have positive psychological effects, experts say.

That's pretty good.

People who deceive themselves also tend to be happier than people who do not, some research suggests. There are social payoffs, too: Studies have shown that people who lie frequently are viewed as friendlier and more amiable than their more truthful counterparts.

That's even better. As you were, Biz.

Creativity, Thy Name Is Smart Guy

Apparently creativity comes from a chemical in the brain that combines intelligence and invention.

While high levels of the chemical in a certain part of the brain seem to increase creativity in really smart people, the reverse is true in those of average intellect.

So basically, the general idea of creativity being the process of 'letting the mind flow freely' is only really applicable to people who have something up there to let flow.

Makes sense, don't it?

You Need To Know This For When The Revolution Comes

The Kid put me onto this today, it's a list of symbols that Hobos used to use to alert one another to the relative 'Hobo-friendliness' of any given burgh.

Hover your cursor over a symbol to see what it means.

My favourite is the spear (or arrow?) head which means, "Be prepared to defend yourself."

I'm Gonna Ride Or Die (Of Thirst)

Because VFL legend David Cloke has a special place in my heart, this makes me mad.

Police are investigating after a gunshot was fired into the home of Collingwood star Travis Cloke earlier this month.

The single gunshot was fired upstairs into the Ringwood North house where the footballer lives with his parents, Julie and David Cloke.

If you don't know about big David Cloke's influence on my life, I'm not gonna publish it here, but sufficed to say I've seen the great man separate a group of brawling Micks single-handed. And you know he comes from the old school Footy days where he would be on friendly terms with a 'knockabout guy' or two.

So I reckon he'll know what to do.

A New Formula For Raekwon's 'Cuban Linx 2' ?

If you believe (some) of what you read, Wu Tang Clan legend Raekwon The Chef is about to release Only Built For Cuban Linx 2 (some kind of sequel to his classic '95 joint which co-starred Ghostface Killah).

I had a thought: why don't they flip the formula and approach it like a Ghostface solo which heavily features Raekwon? Dudes seem to universally praise Ghostface's shit, while Raekwon's efforts post '95 have been maligned.

You won't be able to tell who's record it is anyway, just like on the first one.

Read This Before Drunk Dialling Or Texting

I can't believe this hasn't come to my attention sooner (you guys are slipping), but there's a site dedicated to drunk texts.

Some of my personal favourites are:

1. (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

2. (912): He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.

3. (917): I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
(740): enter at your own risk

You get the idea. Hours of fun. I'm pretty sure myself, The Biz, and The Kid have all deserved to be on there at one time or another.

Jay Z Featuring Eminem: Revisiting 'Renegades' 8 Years Later

While We're On The Subject

The reason I'm such a passionate Celtic FC supporter stems from a family trip to Scotland when I was 7.

See my Grandparents were from rural Ireland and my Grandad left for Scotland when he was 14 to look for work. And work he did, digging trenches and doing all the other back breaking stuff that the waves of Irish immigrants had open to them. He, like 99.999% of all the other Irish in Scotland, supported Celtic all his life.

So when I met him for the first time, he gave me a green jumper with an American Football print on it - nothing to do with the world game whatsoever - and said, "That's green for Celtic."

Makes perfect sense, no?

Scotty Mac Is Coming Home With The Bhoys

What Weekend?

So I spent the whole weekend moving in with wifey. It's never an enjoyable process, but at least it's over now. The Biz was moving out of our pad in Fitzroy on the same day as me, and he had some pretty hilarious removalists helping him out.

I did actually manage to sneak in some writing here and there, finishing up a couple of tracks for the new J Wess album The Director's Cut (which is in the final stages) and flipping through a few new beats, trying to pick some for my record.

Video for Do Anything For You (J Wess feat. me and Jerson Trinidad) should be on the box this month.

Start saving your pennies for the single in July and then the LP later in the year.

A Consumer's Guide To Daily Life

This is a pretty cool reminder of what it all boils down to in our society. Bring on the revolution, so that our schedules can all be filled with 'Hazchem,' home made 'skull and bones' pirate flags, and crooked 'XXX Moonshine' signs.

What About The Washington Generals?

I was scared to death I'd find my beloved New York Knicks on this list of worst pro sports teams ever, but then I remembered that they've only sucked for about 5 years.

Thank God for the terminally $hit LA Clippers.

Suck On This Andrew Bolt, You Climate Change Denier

The Chacaltaya glacier in Bolivia used to be the worlds highest ski run. Used to be, because although the 5,300m high land formation is still there, the ice is not.

Not long ago they were predicting that it would survive until 2015.

But now it seems, the glacier has melted at a much faster rate than they expected.

Photos taken in the last two weeks show that all that is left of the majestic glacier, which is thought to be 18,000 years old, are a few lumps of ice near the top.

You know what's fun? Watching reactionary cockroaches like Andrew Bolt spin out their 'evidence' to the contrary, while the planet continues to fall apart.

That's great man. When there are no more trees, Bolt can maintain his smug little smile because, in his own mind, he will have rationalised it all away to the fault of something else entirely.

Probably illegal immigrants or socialism.

Where Do We Get Off Expecting To Be Happy?

There's a writer for The Age who I'm quite partial to, and The Kid absolutely loves. Her name's Catherine Deveny, and she writes some pretty excellent stuff.

Despite wishful thinking, happiness is not our default setting. But heading towards happiness is. (That wasn't Buffett, or Dr Phil. That was me.) It's about damage control. Enough talk about building infrastructure and financial stimulus. People forget that economic turmoil gouges huge holes in people's lives, their mental health, their happiness, their self-esteem, their relationships and their health. And that, my friends, affects us all.

Oh, and as for the picture of the one legged Ruski from The Sopranos.... well, if you know The Sopranos, you'll know why I posted it. And if you don't know The Sopranos, wtf are you doin?

Some Thoughts On Why Breaking New Acts Might Make Dollars & Sense

I've been listening to Relapse (Eminem's new album) over the last few days, and since I've never had any opinion of Em whatsoever (other than to say he is a greatly skilled rapper), I really don't have any qualitative analysis of it to offer. But, it did get me thinking....

In the current climate, there's no way he's gonna sell anywhere near the same amount of records that he used to. In fact, anyone who's interested in this album probably already has it (die hard Eminem fans). But that's really the case with any established artist, whether they're at the peak of their success or they're on the decline. Once the hype kicks in, your popularity and mainstream exposure tops out and there are about 10 times as many people downloading your shit for free as there are purchasing it.

Maybe one of the only ways to see healthy sales these days is to come out of nowhere. No one's checking for you before you break, so no one's downloading your shit for free. They don't know who the fuck you are. You come out of nowhere, enjoy some moderate sales from the spike in popularity and notoriety, and then join the ranks of the raped and pillaged.

When Being A Big Baby Goes Wrong

Does The NBL Need To Get at Andre 3000?

Australia's anemic pro ball league, the NBL, is now at full blown laughing stock status after the most enduring franchise in league history pulled the pin on the proposed revamped league.

The Tigers' decision followed the announcement by reigning champions the South Dragons on Friday that they were also withdrawing, although both Melbourne clubs said they wanted to rejoin the competition in 2010.

BA will announce on Tuesday whether the new league will go ahead as scheduled starting in October.

The Tigers' withdrawal now leaves any revamped competition without any teams in Melbourne, Sydney or Brisbane.

He's an astute business man, that stout little Mick (Tigers owner Seamus McPeake), so I'm guessing these teams have their reasons. There's talk of a renegade league, I can only hope it materialises and emulates both the real life ABA (an alternate pro league in the USA that thrived in the 70s due to cats like Dr. J, and enjoyed/suffered an infamy for lax drug policies), and the fictional league from Semi-Pro in which Will Ferrell captain/coaches 'a lovable band of misfits.'

Andrew Gaze could totally be that dude.

Reason #42 Why TWNR

Horse Jumps Sleeps With The Fishes

Some crazy fuck horse trainer has taken exception to a move to ban Horse Jumps as a sport.

"Well I ring up the knackery and start shooting straight away and I'll video them, get some shots and send them to Ross (Rob) Hulls and all the radical groups against jumping races," Londregan said.

"And I'll be sending a few heads here and there too."

That seems like a reasonable way to dispose of the horses you claim to 'love,' which will obviously be of absolutely no use once the sport you use them for is outlawed.

20 Years Since The (2nd.) Shot Heard Around The World

Ridicule Me Elmo

I just thought of this. A 'Ridicule Me Elmo' doll that upbraids you.

"Is that what you're wearing?"

"You can't pull that off."

"You look like shit."

That sort of thing.

Poker: More Skill Than Chance

This one is for Joey Vegas and The Biz.

Though obviously written from a pro-poker bias, it's an interesting article illustrating why poker ought to be seen as much more than a game of chance.

No fixed disadvantage exists prior to the cards being dealt and the actions or lack of same of the players determines the odds, statistics and chance surrounding any given hand. In other words the house will not take from 6% to 20% of your money given that you play long enough to make those odds apply.

Oh, and the guy in the picture is my man Scotty Nguyen - one of the stars of the world series poker circuit. I don't know enough about poker to say I like his style, but eff it, my girl's surname is Nguyen and that's good enough for me.

A Happy Ending In Your Happy Meal?

That's what some poor little kid found as she, no doubt gleefully, plunged her squidgy fingers into the fries of her McDonalds meal.

Police said on Monday they were investigating where the condom came from and how it got into the Happy Meal. They said an analysis was being done to determine if the condom posed a health risk.

And if it doesn't pose a health risk, the little girl gets to keep it for free.

It's good to see that ninemsn are maintaining 'the unexamined life isn't worth living' as their motto. Then again, I'm shitter for blogging about it.

Brooklyn The Planet

So it seems word has finally filtered out to sleepy old Oz about how great Brooklyn is.

In these trying economic times, apparently folks are shunning the high price tag that necessarily comes with the territory on Manhattan Island. But they're still getting a pretty excellent NYC experience.

The pleasures of staying in Brooklyn are far richer, however, than saving time and money. The borough is a microcosm of New York itself and offers the visitor numerous attractions far from the maddening crowds of Manhattan.

I remember trooping down Franklin Ave back in 2000 with Tek and BVP to get to Medgar Evars College for a show featuring The Roots, Common, Mos Def, Talib Kweli and hosted by Dave Chappelle (in the 'Half Baked' days, before everyone was screaming "Rick James bitch!").

Brooklyn definitely has it's own vibe.

We didn't get tickets for the show, by the way.

Gangster Flick Starring Depp, Bale, Directed By Mann

Melbourne Man Caught Driving Around Naked

This is actually quite fucked up, as the dude was exposing himself to young school girls, but I had to see the funny side:

Two 10-year-old girls and an 11-year-old have reported the man driving completely or semi-naked in the Ivanhoe area and performing indecent acts in front of them.

The girls said inside of the car looked messy with papers and junk food wrappers over the seats and floor.

So there you go. Trust no one who uses the drive thru at McDonalds.

Pause For Appreciation of Muscat, a Melbourne Legend

Good news for all Victory fans (and all Melbournians in general, if you ask me). Inspirational captain Kevin Muscat will play on next season, as he pushes well into his mid 30s.

Obviously he's a lot closer to the end of his career than the beginning, but I am not looking forward to the day he calls it quits. That will be a pivotal moment for Melbourne Victory.

And Now.... An Experimental Pianist From Dusseldorf

Kiddie put me onto this the other day, it really is beautiful music. The clip is haunting, Kafkaesque, dreamlike. A nice departure from reality, which I lean heavily on the arts for and which we could all use on the verge of another Monday.